Can't You See
by TheLostandHunted
Summary: It takes place after the season finale then onto senior year. Sam has major issues and Brooke is discoving new things about herself. My scedule is hectic but I'll try and update as much as possible. This is my first fanfic.
1. Chapter 1

Brooke just frozen into the headlights of the incoming car and she didn't even realize that she was pushed out of the way till her face came in contact with the pavement. After the shock wore off she slowly stood up and turned around to the crowd of onlookers. They weren't looking at her but something to her left she let her eyes follow theirs and that is when she saw a car crashed into the wall with something on the hood. She couldn't make out what it was. Harrison was in front of her talking but she wasn't really hearing anything he was saying. Since she wasn't responding Harrisons face got a worried look and Brooke noticed this and gave him an answer.

"I'm fine," it was all she could manage at the moment.

"What happened? I just came outside cause someone said that some girl was just hit by a car. I thought it might have been you."

"What?" Brooke asked racking her brain. She was fine she didn't get hit by a car someone pushed her out of the way. Wait. She scanned the crowd of people. Where's Sam?

Two ambulances showed up and the paramedics were all over the crash victims. One paramedic was helping a blonde out of the car while the other three were gently getting the other victim off the hood onto a gurney. The blonde was able to walk; we'll as much as any drunk who just got into a car crash could. Brooke recognized her and ran to her.

"Nicole!" she ran up to the blubbering girl.

"Brookie," she looked up at Brooke with tears streaming down her face. "I…am…so so sorry. I didn't mean to hit her. I was intoxicated and mad at you then all of a sudden Spam was on my windshield and I lost control." She was losing it.

"Wait, Sam?" Brooke felt panic as she looked at the gurney being wheeled towards them. On the gurney was Sam in a neck brace, her face was covering blood. There was blood everywhere on her body it was hard to tell where it was all coming from.

"SAM! Oh my God, Sam. I'm so sorry," she grabbed the side of the gurney as the guys stopped to lift the gurney into the ambulance.

"Miss, we need to get her to the hospital she lost a lot of blood," the paramedic said as he tried to close the door she was in front of.

"She, she's my sister," Brooke was crying.

"Well we are headed to the hospital just up the road we don't have enough room for you so you'll have to get someone to drive you there," the paramedic said as he gentle moved her to the side and closed the door. He then ran to the driver's side and climbed in.

Brooke stood crying as the ambulance drove off down the street. She felt someone's hands on her shoulders. It was Harrison. He had some tears in his eyes but was handling it quite well.

"I…I need to get to the hospital now," Brooke said as she wiped the tears away. "I have to call my Dad and Jane."

She got a hold of her Dad and broke down crying again. Mike couldn't understand his daughter but he understood she needed to be picked up.

He arrived in ten minutes and he saw the car smashed into the wall and he saw his daughter pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. He pulled up next to her and quickly got out.

"Brooke are you all right? Are you hurt?" Mike rushed up to his daughter and hugged her.

"Dad I'm fine. It Sam she not, they took her to the hospital," Brooke started to cry again.

"Get in the car," Mike hurried his daughter to the passenger side and opened up the door.

They arrived in five minutes. Mike approached the nurse station, while Brooke sat in an open chair in the waiting room.

"Hello, um my step-daughter just came in. She was in a car accident," Mike said to the only nurse sitting there.

"Your Nicole's father" she said as she looked up from the screen.

"Nicole? No, Sam's. Sam McPherson," He said impatiently.

"Sorry Sir, I don't have anyone by that name," she responded after looking at the patient list.

Brooke had now approached the desk wondering what was taking so long.

"She was the one who was hit by the car, not in the car. The paramedic's said they were bringing her to this hospital," Brooke was getting angry.

"Oh, Jane Doe. Yes she's here she's in surgery," The nurse said as she grabbed a clipboard to hand to them. "I'll need you to fill this out, while you are waiting."

Mike grabbed the clipboard and they both went to sit down. He took a look at the sheet and realized that he couldn't fill it out only Jane could.

"Ugh….I forgot to call Jane," Mike was angry enough to kick himself.

Ten minute of silence went by till Jane came in all frantic.

"What happened?" Jane approached Mike and Brooke who now stood up.

"Sam was hit by Nicole in the parking lot at Prom," Brooke answered her. Up till know she had stopped crying till Jane broke down. That is when her tear ducts when haywire again.

"Well, what do we know? Anything?," Jane said in between breaths.

"We don't know just yet because they said we have to fill this form out before they can tell us anything," Mike waved the clipboard around.

Jane grabbed the form and filled it out and quickly handed to the nurse behind the counter.

"Can you now tell me what going on with my daughter," Jane was trying to keep a steady voice.

"She's in surgery they are trying to stop the internal bleeding and set all her broken bones," the nurse read off the screen. "The doctors will come and get you when she's out of surgery."

"Thank You" Jane then went back to her seat.

The first bell of senior year went off and students rushed off to their classes. Physics class with Ms. Glass.

"Well, well, well, all you seniors stand up I have a seating arrangement," Bobbi Glass pulled out a sheet of paper and started to read.

It was alphabetical like every year. When she reached the M's there was one less person.

"McPherson. McPherson. Sam McPherson." Bobbi Glass looked around the room. Her eyes stopped on Brooke. "McQueen, where is your step-sister?"

"I don't know. I'm not her babysitter," Brooke said unaffected.

Glass finished up her seating assignment and everyone took their seats. Class was over in fifty-minutes and all the students streamed out of the room and moved onto their lockers.

"Hey Brooke," Harrison put his arm around his girlfriend and kissed her cheek.

"Hi, Harrison," Brooke smiled and opened her locker.

"So," Harrison pause trying to figure out the right words to use. "you and Sam are still not talking."

"I try she doesn't want any of it," Brooke put some books into her looker and pulled out another. "I think she is still having a hard time with us being together and the accident."

"She told us that she was ok with us and that she was happy for us," Harrison gently turned Brooke around so that he could look her in the face.

"Yeah, well you know Sam. She keeps things bottled up and just wants you to be happy," Brooke shut her locker.

Sam needed to pick something up before going to school so she left before Brooke could ask her if she needed a ride. She approached a blue house on a nice street. She walked around back and knocked on the back door. A young man, wearing a Star Trek t-shirt with many stains and messy short hair looking like he just woke up off the couch.

"Hey Trevor, I came to pick up my book," Sam said giving him an envelope.

"Ah..yes would that be history or physics," Trevor asked as he looked at the table next to the door.

"Physics," Sam answered.

He took the envelope and gave her the physics book. She walked back to her car and got in. She put the book in the seat next to her, put the car into drive and headed to school. She pulled into the parking lot and turned off the engine. She reached over and grabbed the book, surveyed the surrounding outside her car and then opened the book. Inside the book was a cut out compartment that held pills, different prescription pain killers to be exact. She took out two pills, she didn't care which ones, from the baggy and swallowed them with the water she had left in her water bottle.

"Damn it I'm late for class," she had just looked at her phone.

She put her "Physics" book under her seat, grabbed to book bag and locked her door. She walked into the school just as lunch started. She headed straight to the Novak.

Brooke walked in the Novak as Sam was washing her hands. Brooke walked up next to Sam and started to touch up on her make-up.

Sam could feel the meds kicking in. Just at the right time too, cause she couldn't deal with Brooke without a buzz.

"Sam, where did you go this morning?" Brooke asked as she applied more lip gloss.

"You're not my parole officer. I don't have to tell you anything," Sam snapped back.

"Sam don't be such a bitch," Brooke closed her purse up and looked over at Sam.

Sam wouldn't look at her. She could see the long scar on the left side of Sam jaw bone that was from the accident. She knew Sam cared for her, why else would Sam take the hit. She just wanted Sam to talk with her. She felt more hurt that Sam ignored her she was starting to miss Sam and her arguments.

"Bye, Brooke," Sam was not feeling an argument. She felt numb now and had no emotion to get back at Brooke.

Sam walked out the door leaving Brooke at the vanity alone.

"Shit," Brooke said to herself in the mirror. "Sam, I'm here. Please just talk to me."

Sam skipped lunch and the rest of her classes and hung out in the newspaper room working on her articles.

Mr. Williams the new writing teacher who also headed up the schools paper, came in the room after the last bell of the day and spotted Sam staring blankly into the screen.

"Sam, just the person I needed to see," Mr. Williams approached her desk. "I wanted to talk to you about the article you wrote for our welcome to school issue for tomorrow."

Sam looked up at him.

"Well, the story wasn't your greatest. It….it was really dry and blah," Mr. William gave her a concerned look. "I know that this summer has been difficult but Sam you are the most talented girl I know but this was just bad. I won't be publishing it in this issue."

Sam stood up and walked out of the room without saying anything. She walked out to her car and headed to Trevor house again.

This time she went to the front door and a blonde scantily clad girl answered the door.

"SAM! Come in let's start this party," Stacy ushered her in.

They walked down into the basement that had a full bar. Stacy grabbed a bottle as Sam took a seat on the couch. Stacy held out a pill and the bottle to Sam and Sam downed the pill with two shots worth of liquor. Stacy also took a pill and a swig of vodka. Within a few minutes the room was spinning and more people started entering and music was playing. The whole room was packed with sweaty bodies grinding against each other. Sam was in the center of the room drink in hand and high, dancing with anyone next to her. She was getting warm and tired and in need of fresh air. She couldn't find her keys so she just started to walk down the street. She only lived a block over. She was walking down the center of the road looking up at the sky, disappointed that she couldn't see and stars.

A few minutes later after zigzagging down the road, she walk up the glass door to the kitchen and tugged at it. It was locked.

"Damn" Sam didn't have any keys.

It was freezing outside and she wanted a bed. So she pulled out her phone and called the only number she could. After two rings the person answered with a groggy, sleepy voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey Brooke," Sam said in a drunken slurred state. "I'm in a pre…predica….predicament. I'm locked out."

"Sam?" Brooke was already headed downstairs.

She saw Sam standing outside the glass door staring back at her. Brooke hung up the phone as she reached the door. She unlocked the door and opened it. Sam sped past her and up the stairs. Brooke heard a door click shut.

"What, no 'thank you'" Brooke said to herself as she locked the door back up.

She headed back up the stairs and she could smell a faint odor of alcohol in the air. She was still quite sleepy and was still processing what just happened. Sam called her and she sounded strange. She saw the bathroom door closed and heard the toilet flush. She paused, waiting for Sam to come out and see if she would explain herself. Sam emerged a minute later and started off to her room. She walked in and closed the door not once taking any notice of Brooke standing there. Brooke was too tired to go start anything so she walked to her bed and climbed in. She was asleep within seconds of her head hitting the pillow.

Brooke opened the door and Sam took off towards the bathroom. She had to pee and throw up. She wasn't sure what order it would happen but didn't care at the moment. She reached the bathroom and was about to slam the door when she caught herself and closed it as lightly as she could. She ran to the toilet and hurled twice before she turned around and relieved herself. She flushed the toilet and washed her hands. Then swished some mouthwash, in her mouth before going to bed. She walked out into the hallway she did see Brooke staring at her but the alcohol and drugs were wearing off and she didn't feel like talking with her.

Brooke woke up to her alarm going off at 6 am and she dragged herself out to bed, down the hall to the shower. After she got reading she realized that Sam hadn't pestered her at all to get out of the bathroom. She was a little concerned, so she quietly knocked. When no answer came she turned the door handle and gently swung the door open. Sam was sprawled out on her bed with her head at the foot of the bed and her feet up on the pillows.

"Sam?" said Brooke quietly approaching the unconscious body. "Sam?"

Sam didn't even stir. Brooke got closer and when she did she hit a wall of booze. Sam reeked of it. Now she was concerned if Sam was breathing or not. She reached her arm out and gave Sam's shoulder a little shake. Sam groaned a bit but didn't wake up. Brooke was relieved but knew that she couldn't leave Sam in her bed smelling of booze. If Jane caught Sam she would not handle the stress of Sam's decisions well.

"Sam," Brooke shoved Sam harder. "Sam get up now."

Sam just groaned again but didn't move. So Brooke grabbed Sam leg and pulled her off the bed violently. Sam hit the ground with a thud.

"FUCK, Brooke. What the fuck," Sam squinted up at Brooke.

"Get up and take a shower," Brooke pointed towards the bathroom. "Don't let your mom catch you."

Sam got up from the floor with the use of her bed. Once she got up her hangover hit her like nails being pounded in her skull. She really needed her pills. She had some hidden in her desk for emergency use just like right now. The only problem is that Brooke was in the room and she wasn't leaving.

"For Fuck's sake why are you still standing in my room?" Sam narrowed her eyes at Brooke.

"Because I'm going to throw your sheets in the washer along with your clothes," Brooke answered.

"Well I'm not undressing in front of you, and why bother this isn't your problem," Sam crossed her arms.

"Go into the bathroom and throw your clothes out. I care cause I know that Jane will be stressed out if she finds out and I don't want her getting all upset," Brooke pointed to the bathroom again.

Sam slowly made her way to the bathroom with Brooke at her heels very impatiently trying to get her to move more quickly. She entered the bathroom and quickly stripped down and threw her clothes over her shoulder to Brooke. Brooke failed to catch the clothes because she was in shock by Sam's naked body in front of her. She stood in shock in the doorway as if time stopped.

Sam looked over her shoulder and noticed Brooke's stare.

"Like what you see," Sam said with a nasty grin.

Brooke shook her head. "I was just shocked, because a minute ago you said you weren't going to undress in front of me."

Brooke bent down and snatched up the clothes and slammed the door shut before going back to Sam's room to strip the sheets of the bed. She bundled up the sheets and on her way down stairs she paused.

"Shit, Brooke. Why did you check Sam out that definitely wasn't a sisterly stare," Brooke chastised herself and then head back down the steps.

She threw the laundry in with some detergent and softener. She then walked into the kitchen and made herself a chopped fruit bowl.

Sam stepped into the shower and turned on the scalding hot water and let in rush over her body causing her skin to turn pink. Sam was trying to burn out these feelings out of her body.

"Sam don't be stupid. She picked Harrison. She wasn't checking you out you just shocked her with your indecency" Sam finished up her shower.

She emerged from the shower with her body beet red. She dried off, slowly opened the door, and surveyed her surroundings before heading to her room. She shuffled to her room with a towel wrapped around her body constricting her leg movement. She closed her door and made sure that Brooke wasn't in her room before taking out her pills hidden in her desk.

She dry swallowed them and moved on to dressing herself. She picked out a purple bra and panties and complemented them with a black spaghetti strap tank top and tight hole-ridden jeans. She brushed through her wet, snarled hair, not bothering to blow dry it. She applied some eyeliner and headed downstairs.

Sam walked into the kitchen just as Brooke put her dish in the sink. Brooke turned around and saw Sam.

_Shit. Is she trying to say 'fuck me now'. _Brooke took in the sight of Sam.

"You're going to wear that?" Brooke tried to push the sexy thoughts from her head.

"Yeah, what's it too you?" Sam said as she grabbed a grape from a bowl on the counter and popped it into her mouth.

"It's your body you can do whatever with it," Brooke said as she grabbed her keys trying to look indifferent. While inside her head she was screaming, _I want your body and I don't want to share it with anyone else. "_Ready to go?"

"Yep, just drop me off at my car. I have to get my keys from a friend," Sam said as she headed out the door.

Brooke grabbed her things and locked the door behind her. She was so confused at all the thoughts running through her head now. _How come I'm having all these feelings for Sam now? Have I just not noticed before? Maybe I just wanted Harrison because I didn't want him to have her? Shit, why is my life so complicated?_

Brooke got in to her car, started the engine, and pulled out to the end of the driveway.

"Turn left," Sam broke the silence that had been suffocating Brooke for a minute but to Brooke it seemed like forever.

Brooke drove as Sam gave directions. She pulled up behind Sam's car and turned off the engine allowing Sam to get out. She then watched Sam walk up to the house.

When Sam reached the door she rang the bell. She waited two minutes and the blonde answered the door giving her hug.

"Hey girl, where did you run off to last night," Stacy smiled.

"Went out to get fresh air and ended up at my house, so I just stayed, but I left my purse here with my keys," Sam answered the blonde.

"Oh, well go ahead and find it and let yourself out cause I'm heading to bed," Stacy said as she head unsteadily up the stair to the second floor.

Sam walked through the door and headed straight down to the basement. She had to step over passed out bodies sprawled on the stairs and on the floor, almost tripping a couple of times. She made it too her purse which was still behind the bar. Before heading back up the stairs she made sure that she had her keys. When she reached the porch, bag in hand she expected Brooke to be gone but nope it looked like Brooke was being her babysitter for the day.

Brooke watched a blonde answer the door and hug Sam right away. She felt this surge of jealousy wash over her body.

"Who the hell is that? Brooke found herself saying out loud angrily. "What does it matter to you Sam isn't yours you have a boyfriend and finally your straight."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam emerged from the house a few minutes with her bag in hand. Sam walked pass the car to her own and quickly got in, not once looking at Brooke. Sam started up her car and headed to school with Brooke trailing behind her. Brooke pulled into the first available parking spot and turned off her car. She looked in her rear view window at Sam's car and saw that Sam wasn't coming out so she grabbed her own things, locked her car and went to class.

Brooke entered the building and within a minute someone's footsteps fell in step with hers. She turned to look at Harrison who looked back and smiled at her.

"Hey beautiful," Harrison gave her a quick kiss when they reached her locker.

"Hey," Brooke sighed opening her locker.

Harrison turned Brooke around so he could look her in the eyes. "What's the matter? They day hasn't even started and you already look tired and stressed."

_Damn you Harrison for being so perceptive and caring. _"Oh just family issues." Brooke didn't want to go into details.

"That's it? Just Sam getting on your nerves. I figured you guys hardly talked enough anymore for you to get stressed out," Harrison showed a little more concerned.

"Well, we had a run in this morning," Brooke said hoping that Harrison would stop digging. What was she suppose to say. _I think I may like Sam more than a friend of sister. _She definitely wasn't going to air Sam's drinking to anyone else.

"Well, I hope she wasn't too nasty to you," Harrison didn't probe anymore. "I don't want to stress you out more, but I think you should know that Nicole is here today she's coming back even though we figured she wouldn't."

Brooke slammed her locker shut a little too angrily.

"That's a bad idea on her part. If she thinks that all forgiven she is wrong," Brooke looked Harrison dead in the eye. "I should warn Sam. I'll see you in class."

Brooke went looking for Sam.

Sam parked her car and waited till she saw Brooke head inside before she pulled out her Physics book. She picked out two pills and set them on the dashboard of her car. She replaced the book under the seat. She didn't need the pills now but later for when the ones she took earlier wear off. She dug around in her purse and found a pen that was low on ink. She then removed the ink and replaced it with the pills. She got all her things together before locking her car and going to class. She swung the door to the school open with enough force knocking Brooke down.

"Shit," Brooke said once her ass hit the ground. "Nice Sam, what a way to make an entrance."

"Why the hell would you stand in front of the door?" Sam decided to help Brooke up because now they were catching a lot of attention from other students. Sam didn't want any attention.

Brooke accepted Sam's help up. "I was looking for you."

"You found me and now have the bruise to prove it," Sam started down the hall to her first class.

Brooke caught up with her just before they entered the room. She grabbed Sam's shoulder to stop her.

"Sam you should know that Nicole is here. She decided to stay for her senior year," Brooke reluctantly removed her hand from Sam's shoulder.

"And I care why? I have no hard feelings towards her. She was drunk and she wasn't aiming for me I ran in front of her car; although she may have been aiming for you, but I doubt it. How could she have known that you would walk out of the building as she came around the corner," Sam answer spewed out of her mouth with little emotion.

Sam then walked into Physics class leaving Brooke standing in the hallway stunned. Her shock of Sam's words wore off and she became angry. "I care because Nicole hurt you and took the real Sam away." Brooke said in the now empty hall.

She put a fake smile on and walked into the class like she owned it.

**I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT BUT I'M STILL FIGURING OUT THE DIRECTION I WANT TO TAKE WITH THIS STORY. I'M GOING TO TRY UPLOADING THE FIRST CHAPTER AGAIN BECAUSE I REALIZED I HAD 2 DIFFERENT NAMES FOR ONE GIRL. **

**THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO EITHER REVIEWED OR PUT MY STORY ON YOU ALERT LIST. I HOPE THAT I CAN GIVE YOU A GREAT STORY AND NOT LET YOU DOWN.**

**I TRY TO UPLOAD AS OFTAIN AS I CAN I JUST DEPENDS ON MY WORK LOAD AND WHEN I GET INSPIRED.**


	3. Chapter 3

Brooke took her seat next Sam, who was staring out the window. Even though Brooke kept her smile one she was sure that if someone stood close enough her anger could fry them.

Since Sam was not in the mood to talk Brooke looked around the room for some, any kind of, social interaction. Her eyes stopped on Harrison. He smiled at her, but then his attention was now settled on the door. Brooke followed his gaze to the blonde in the doorway. She felt as if the temperature inside her was going to cause her to explode. Anger was pumping through her veins.

The whole room went silent and was now facing the doorway. They were waiting for all hell to break loose. Nicole stood there not looking the least bit freaked. She decided to shatter the silence with a bang.

"What are all you fucker's staring at?" Nicole never cared what these people thought of her so why should she care now.

"Miss. Julian I will not tolerate that language in my room," Ms. Glass said as she walked in behind Nicole. "Take your seat next to Harrison."

Nicole clicked her heels over to the open seat. Brooke quickly turned around once Nicole sat down. Brooke took notice that Sam hadn't turned her attention away from the window.

"Ok everyone, who wants to tell me the difference between mass and weight?" Ms. Glass started her lesson.

Brooke was glad that class was starting she needed to keep her mind busy and school work was the key. With her mind fully in the class the first half of the day soared by.

The lunch bell rang and everyone stampeded out of their classes into the halls.

Sam spent the first half of her day staring out the window and that's how she planned on spending the rest of her day. She could feel all the stares of people who were just waiting to see a confrontation, or even a knock-down drag-out, between her and Nicole.

They were going to be waiting forever because she honestly had no harsh feelings towards Nicole other than the normal dislike they had of each other.

The lunch bell rang and she ran for the Novak. Her last class was draining because the drugs were wearing off. When her drugs lose their effect she has a hard time blocking out all the voices of the students and teachers in the class. She wanted the numbness back it was her happy place where she didn't have to process any feelings.

When she entered the Novak she looked around before removing her "Pill" pen. She tilted her head under the sink and filled her mouth with water. She then unscrewed the pen, put it to her lips and let its contents slide into her mouth. She finished it off with one big swallow.

She waited in front of the mirror till the drugs took effect. It never took too long. She looked passed herself in the mirror to the stalls behind her and that is when she saw feet drop down behind one of the doors.

"Shit Sam, you should know by now that you need to check each stall," she chastised herself quietly.

Nicole stepped out of the stall and approached the vanity.

Sam started to breath; she hadn't realized that she had stopped. She was just glad that it wasn't Lily, Carmen, or even Brooke. She couldn't deal with them; Nicole on the other hand was easier to deal with. Since Nicole was like the Black Plague, no one would get close enough to her for her to spill dirt on anyone.

Nicole set her purse next to Sam's and pulled out her mascara and applied it.

"Still in a lot of pain Spam?" Nicole said trying to get a rise out of her.

"Cramps," Sam replied as she put the pen back into her purse.

"Well that must be some pretty strong, black market stuff if your hiding it in your pen, and don't think I didn't notice your totally lack of…well everything," Nicole said as she put her mascara in her bag and pulled out some lipstick. "I know what a prescription abuser looks like. My mom had her problems once."

"I had a long night and now have cramps," Sam said as she swung her purse up on her shoulder.

She looked at Nicole and then left.

Brooke went to her locker and saw Harrison waiting for her with a goofy grin on his face. _Give me some breathing room. God, he's everywhere._ _He's you boyfriend you shouldn't be dreading see his face._ Brooke had now reached her locker and gave Harrison a quick kiss.

"So I was thinking that since seniors are allowed to go off campus to eat that we should head over to that new café on Grand.

"Why, not at least then I don't have to see Nicole's smug face for forty-minutes." Brooke grabbed her purse and held Harrisons hand as they walked out into the warm and sunny weather.

Sam's school day was over thanks to work release. This summer she got a job at the new café on Grand. No one knew she got a job because she didn't want people to show up to see her there. She drove up to the café and parked her in an empty parking space in the back. She walked in through the back door and grabbed an apron, with her name on it, hanging on a hook by the back entrance. She slipped it over her head and tied it in the back. The next thing she tied up was her hair in a messy bun.

"Hey Sam, could you go help the couple at the counter," Bruce, Sam's boss asked as he was retrieving warm pastries from the oven.

Sam walked over to the opening that connected the kitchen and the rest of the café. She walked through the opening only to quickly turn around and walk back into the kitchen.

"Shit, what the fuck are they doing here?" Sam leaned against the wall just to the left of the opening.

Becca was putting on her apron when she spotted Sam leaning against the wall with her eyes closed swearing to herself. Becca approached Sam worried that something bad happened.

"Sam, are you ok," Becca asked as she placed her hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Could you take the couple's order?" Sam looked at her pleadingly.

"I can but you are going to have to explain to me what's up with you, and why you don't want to take their order," Becca said right before she walked through the opening to the counter.

Sam walked over to Bruce. She wanted to stay back here till Brooke and Harrison left.

"Hey, Bruce do you need any help back here for awhile? Becca's got the counter under control for right now," Sam hoped that he need some help.

"Um yeah of course I could always use some help. You see that big white container over there could you use the scoop in it to put 4 scoops of flour into the mixer. Once you finish that I'll tell you what's next," Bruce turned back to what he was doing.

"Hello, welcome to café on Grand how can I help you?" Becca asked the couple standing patiently at the counter.

"I'll have an Iced Mocha and a small salad with raspberry vinegarette," Brooke spoke up first.

"I'll have the turkey club with a citrus green tea," Harrison read off of the menu board.

"Ok your total is $15. 43," She said as Harrison handed her a twenty. "$4.57 is your change I'll call you number when it's ready." She gave them the receipt with their number on it.

Brooke and Harrison found a spot in a cozy corner booth. A few minutes later there number was called and Harrison got up and got the food.

Sam was in the back making some scones, when Becca walked in.

"So….what was that all about? Is she some preppy bitch from school who hates you?" Becca asked genuinely curious.

"She's my step-sister and her boyfriend, who used to be my best friend," Sam said as she turned off the mixer.

"Shit, that's your step-sister, she is a total hottie, even if she's a bitch for stealing you friend," Becca was amazed. "Hey can I come over to your house some night?"

"That would be a no. I don't want you flirting with her," Sam said as she carried the mixing bowl over to the metal table in the center of the kitchen.

"I see you want her all to yourself. Wait this isn't Brooke who you jumped in front of the car for is it?" Becca started to fit things together.

"It's not like that and yes I did push her out of the way of a moving vehicle," Sam sprinkled flour out on to the table before she scooped the dough out.

"Oh, you have it bad. Does she know this?" Becca asked her.

"Shut up, ok?" Sam was now rolling out the dough for the scones.

"Ok, I'll stop. So are we going to Stacy's to party tonight?" Becca changed the subject.

" Hell, yes, "Sam looked up at her.

Bruce walked back in from his break and the girls went back to work.


	4. Chapter 4

**I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE REVIEWED OR ADDED MY STORY TO YOUR ALERTS. IT IS GREAT ENCOURAGEMENT I HOPE YOU CONTINUE TO ENJOY THE STORY.**

Sam and Becca clocked out for the day and walked out to Sam's car. Sam really needed a fix right now but she was willing to wait for the free drugs and booze at the party.

As Sam drove to Stacy's house Becca continued to talk her ear off.

"I'm totally going to get wasted tonight. I hope Trish is there cause I could use a good fuck," Becca paused and looked over at Sam. "Hey you should hook up tonight. Right now you are reeking of sexual frustration."

They had pulled up to the house and Sam put the car in park before she lashed out at Becca.

"I don't need you to tell me when to fuck someone. I'm only frustrated cause I need some drugs," Sam then exited the car. She peered back in at Becca who hadn't moved from her seat. "Are you getting out of the damn car or am I locking you the fuck in?"

"I'm getting out. I'm getting out," Becca held up her hands in surrender as she got out of the car.

Sam locked the car and they ascended the porch steps. They could feel the party pulsing through the walls.

There was no need to knock, so they just entered. Right away they were surrounded by people dancing and hooking up.

Sam could tell what the choice drug was tonight. It was MDMA, ecstasy. She heard Becca squeal in delight when Stacy walked up with the pills in her hand. Becca didn't waste her time she quickly took on and danced off into the mess of people.

Stacy approached Sam with the pill. Sam wanted pain killers not MDMA.

"Here you go Sam," Stacy held the pill up to Sam's mouth.

Sam shook her head. "Where are the pain killers?"

"Not tonight Sam. You're going to try something new. You won't be disappointed. Next time you'll get what you want but right now you are going to take this," Stacy put the ecstasy closer to Sam's mouth.

"Fine," Sam opened her mouth.

She felt it hit her tongue. As it dissolved on her tongue she felt as though she was connected to everyone. She could feel the music flow through her body. Bodies were all around her. Someone came up behind her and started to dance right up next to her grinding against her.

She turned around and was face to face with a blonde who had a striking resemblance to Brooke. In her drugged out state all her body cared about was touching someone especially someone who looked so similar to a person that she loved.

They were dancing and touching till the girl leaned in and started to kiss her. With all the MDMA as it coursed through her veins she kissed back greedily. They soon were in a full blown make-out, groping session in the middle of the dance floor.

The blonde broke the kiss, grabbed Sam's hand and pulled her through the crowd. They made their way out of the house into the cool night air. There were still many people out in the backyard sprawled out on the grass making out with each other.

Sam was staring up at the stars completely unaware of where the blond was taking her. Still staring up into the night sky, she felt the warmth that was in her hand disappear. She turned to look at where the heat source went to and saw the blonde jumping on a trampoline. The girl beckoned her to join. Sam's body automatically responded and soon she was also jumping. The drugs still had control over her and she felt as though she was soaring. She was one with the sky.

The blonde had dropped down on her back and Sam landed next to her. Sam looked up and felt so connected to everything. It didn't take long before Sam's body was starving for more human contact.

Sam rolled over closer to the Brooke look-a-like and took the initiative and kissed the girl. She was soon on top of her. She was running her hands up and down the girl's smooth skin of her stomach. Their body heat radiated off their bodies so much so that the cold air of the night was unable to penetrate through the heat.

* * *

"Hello Brooke, how was your day?" Jane looked up from the stove when Brooke walked in.

"I wish I could say great, or even good, but it was pretty much just a crappy day," Brooke set her bag by the door.

"Can I help with anything?  
"Of course you can. You're a much better cook than I. You can work on the sauce," Jane moved away from the stove to let Brooke at it. "So you want to talk about it?

Of course Brooke would like to talk to someone about it, but that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. She couldn't say hardly anything to Jane. She played what she wanted to say in hear head. _Well Jane my day started off by getting a phone call in the middle of the night from a drunk Sam locked out of the house. Then I had to wake the bitch up and later give her a ride to her car, which was parked at some random girls house. Had my school day started off with the news that Nicole is back. Sam not caring. Oh yeah, and I think I may have feelings for your daughter._

She shook her head." I'm mostly upset because Nicole's back."

"No…" Jane's voice was in shock. "How did Sam handle it?"

"She was fine. She could of cared less," Brooke was frustrated.

"Well that's good," Jane was a little relieved.

"What do you mean good? Nicole hit her with a car. Sam could have been killed," Brooke raised her voice.

"That is true, but you could have been hurt or killed if Sam didn't push you out of the way. Nicole didn't purposefully run her over," Jane calmly responded.

Like mother, like daughter. Brooke had nothing to say so she went back to working on the sauce. Jane started on the salad. They worked in silence.

When Mike walked in they put all the food out on the table and took their seats and dished out. Mike looked over to the empty seat.

"Is Sam going to join us for dinner?"

"I'm not sure. I haven't seen or spoken to her in two days," Jane's realization started to worry her. "Brooke?"

"Last time I saw her was this morning," Brooke was a little worried but she tried to look indifferent.

Mike talked the rest of dinner and after Brooke helped clean up she went to her room to do her homework.

Brooke finished her homework by 11pm and decided to stretch her stiff limbs. She walked to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. The house was silent. She knew that everyone was sleeping. She went back up the stairs with her water, but paused at the top. She wondered if Sam was in her room or not.

She slowly went to the closed door and knocked softly. When there was no answer she gently turned the door knob and swung the door open cautiously. What she saw was an empty room, so she closed the door before heading to her room. She climbed into her bed and drifted off to sleep.

**I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE CHAPTER I WILL CONTINUE TO UPDATE IF YOU WANT ME TO, BUT IT MIGHT TAKE ME AWHILE, SO PLEASE BE PATIENT. **


	5. Chapter 5

**I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU WHO HAVE REVIEWED IT DEFINITELY KEEPS ME GOING. **

**THERE MAY BE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS CHAPTER SO IM SORRY. I USUALLY HAVE BETTER STORY IDEAS WHEN IM TIRED, BUT IT USUALLY MEANS THAT THERE WILL PROBABLY BE ERRORS. IF THERE ARE MAJOR ONES, LIKE IF A PART DOESNT MAKE SENSE, PLEASE LET ME KNOW AND I WILL CORRECT IT.**

"Wake the fuck up Sam. You're taking me home."

Sam awoke to someone slapping her face. She was extremely groggy and unsure where she was. She lifted her head up and saw Becca standing in front of her with her arms crossed. She was starting to get her bearings and she knew that she was outside on a trampoline. The night's events were still a little foggy.

"Come on Sam I'm freezing my ass off," Becca was bouncing up and down rubbing her shoulders.

Sam started to sit up when she realized that she was missing so essentials. She was naked, well in her book she was exposed luckily she still had on her matching purple bra and panties.

"Shit," Sam looked down at herself than back up to Becca. "If you help me find my clothes we can leave sooner."  
Sam slid off the trampoline and landed on her jeans. She pulled them up and then looked around at her feet for her black tank top, but found another shirt instead.

"Sam, I found your shirt Becca was behind Sam pointing it out.

Sam turned around and followed Becca's finger to where her shirt was peeking out from. It was under a blonde who was also half naked passed out on the trampoline.

"Shit. Shit. Shit," Sam was trying harder to remember what happened last night. She was drawing a blank.

"Becca grab it," Sam whispered loudly.

"Hell no," Becca stepped away. "This is your mess. I'll be waiting by your car."

Becca left the shirtless Sam standing in the backyard by herself. Sam slowly approached the sleeping girl.

"You're such a fuck up Sam, "Sam said to herself as she grabbed the exposed part of the shirt.

She definitely didn't want to wake the girl up so she slowly started to pull. I t wouldn't budge. The girl suddenly rolled over and Sam quickly snatched her hand back. The girl was still passed out but now Sam could see her face. _Shit, she looks like Brooke. _She decided to forget her shirt and go searching for her keys.

She entered the house through the sliding glass doors. The place was trashed and there were unconscious people strewed about. As she made her way across the maze of bodies and party trash she scanned for her bag. Her eyes rested on the couch, where some dude was using it as a pillow.

She leaned over and with one hand on the arm rest and the other locked a hold of the strap, she yanked it free letting the guy's head drop.

She didn't care if she woke him up there was no awkward confrontation waiting. With her bag on her bare shoulder she exited through the front door and sprinted to her car, which Becca was leaning against.

"Took you long enough," Becca said as Sam rounded the car and unlocked it. "I have to be home in ten minutes.

They both climbed into the car. Sam started the engine and turned the heat on full blast, because she was freezing.

Becca continued to talk for a little longer in a worried tone. "I need to get home before my mom goes to my room to wake me up. It's ridiculous that she has to come in and wake me up. I have an alarm clock, but she says that when I move out and I'm on my own then I can use it. She said that she loves to wake me and my brother up in the morning. I don't understand this cause all we end up doing is cussing her out then turning over and going to sleep again."

Becca was silent for a couple of minutes before she could no long stand the silence. Plus she was always curious and prying into other people's affairs.

"So…," Becca was wondering what to say exactly. "You know that you are still not wearing a shirt, right?"

Sam didn't respond she kept her attention on the road.

"Looks like you had a goodnight," Becca added.

"I wouldn't know, can't remember much and don't want to," Sam said as she turned left down Becca's street.

"Well if anything I was spot on about your feelings for Brooke," Becca blurted out before Sam put the car into park.

"Get out," was all that Sam could say without starting a fight with Becca.

"We'll talk later when you've mellowed out," Becca exited the sedan and disappeared around the side of her house.

Sam looked at the clock the green glowing numbers read: 5:58am. She didn't want to go home but she needed a shower and was in serious need of a shirt. It would surely be noticed if she showed up at school with a bra and jeans on. She clicked the car into drive and headed home, which was literally only two streets over.

She knew that Mike was just leaving for work so she wouldn't run into him. Her mom slept in till eight so that wouldn't be an issue either. There was one major obstacle that she would encounter though, Brooke. Brooke got up at six every day.

Sam pulled into the driveway. That's when she realized that Mike would of noticed her car was missing when he left. _I'll just have to remember to think of an excuse._ It was the least of her concern at the moment. Right now the goal was to get into the house without Brooke realizing it and asking questions, like why she wasn't wearing a shirt.

She sat in the car for a few minutes getting herself pulled together. She reached under her seat and grabbed the Physics book. After flipping the cover open she spotted what she was really needing. She knew that soon she would start to remember last night and she couldn't deal with all of it without some numbing. She scooped up a two different shaped pills and placed them on her tongue.

She looked around for water but couldn't find any. The only liquid in the car was a lukewarm can of beer. Becca had left it behind. She wasn't about to dry swallow so she lifted the half-empty can from the cup holder to her lips. She washed the pills down with the remainder of the beer.

She put the book back under the seat, before stepping out of the car. As she walked to the back door that lead in to the kitchen she threw the beer can into the recycling.

She peered in through the glass and made sure the coast was clear before unlocking the door. The click the lock made seemed to be extremely loud in the silence of the house. She waited a bit before snuck in. Once she slipped into the house she could hear the faint sound of the shower going and she knew that it was her one chance. She locked the door and took two steps at a time up the stairs. She entered her room and saw that her bed wasn't made but the sheets were waiting nicely folded on the mattress. She quickly slipped into her pajamas and threw her bed together. She didn't need it to be nice, because it would just look suspicious to her mother.

She slowly climbed in and buried her face into her pillow. She laid there as her drugs kicked in. She heard the water stop and Brooke exit a few minutes later. Brooke's door clicked shut and that is when Sam dragged herself out of bed and down the hall to the bathroom. She peeled her pajama's off and her panties. She looked at herself in the mirror. The bright lights showed all the hickeys on her neck and across her bone. She was definitely going to need to hide them.

"You majorly fucked up," she said to her reflection.

She traced her scar along the left jaw bone with her pointer finger. She then turned her body to so the whole left side was showing in the mirror. She looked at the scars than ran down on her ribs and to her hip. They brought a surge of memories and feelings through her drug induced haze. She pushed them back down. She didn't hear the door open, for she was still staring at her ugly reminders.

"Damn , I'm sorry Sam I didn't know you were home," Brooke said from the doorway behind Sam.

Sam grabbed a clean towel off of the counter and quickly covered up her scars. She then turned around and noticed that Brooke was not facing her way; she had turned around to give Sam some privacy.

"I still need to take a shower," Sam said as she approached the open door to close it as Brooke's back faced her.

Brooke had finished dressing and needed to blow dry her hair. She walked back to the bathroom and saw that the door was shut. She didn't recall closing it. She placed her ear to the door, but it was silent. _Brooke you need more sleep you losing your mind._ She swung the door open and stepped across the threshold into the bathroom, but quickly halted and backed up. _Shit._

"Damn, I'm sorry Sam I didn't know you were home," Brooke was staring now at Sam's scars which were being quickly covered up by a towel. She realized that she was staring and quickly turned around, but was unable to move or close the door.

"I still need to take a shower," Sam said quite calmly and closed the door.

Brooke tried to move her feet. _Move it Brooke, you can't be standing here when she opens the door. You already looked like an idiot when you forgot to shut the door._ Brooke walked into her room and flung herself on her bed. The images of Sam's scars flooded her mind. They were her fault and Sam was reminded of it every day. This was the first time she saw the scars, well except the one on Sam's face. She always figured there were some but she didn't realize how big they would be or that there were so many.

Her cell phone vibrated on the night stand. She stretched her right arm out but was a few inches to short to reach it so she shifted her body over a few inches. She grabbed the phone and saw that it was Harrison calling. She hit the answer button.

"Hello Harrison," Brooke sat up on her bed.

"Hey, Brooke. I was just wondering if you wanted me to swing by and we can ride to school together," Harrison's voice crackled over the speaker.

"I would say yes, but I have errands to take care of after school," Brooke skillfully lied to him.

"Oh, that's ok maybe tomorrow then. I'll see you at school, bye," Harrison said a little disappointed.

"Yep, see you at school, bye," Brooke hung up the phone.

She felt a twinge of guilt lying to him, but she just needed car ride to clear her mind and she was sure that Jane could give her a list of items she would need to be picked up.

She heard the bathroom door open and Sam enter her room. She went to the bathroom to finish up getting ready.

Sam climbed out of the shower and dried her body. Finally she wrapped her body with the towel and quickly brushed her teeth before heading to get ready. She searched her closet for something that would cover her hickey's. She couldn't find anything that would be appropriate for the weather, she would definitely look as though she was hiding something. She looked back in the mirror and noticed that most of the marks were low enough to be covered with a basic tee. There were two on her neck that could be covered by her long wavy hair.

She went back to her closet and pulled out a t-shirt with a band name across it. She then pulled out a pair of green cargo pants. She dressed herself and brushed her hair. Her biggest worry was to keep her neck covered at all times. She did the finishing touches with some black eyeliner.

Sam walked past the bathroom and took a quick glance in and saw Brooke brushing her now dry hair. Sam had now stopped and couldn't move her eyes off of Brooke's body. Sam unfrozen when she saw Brooke started to put all her things away. Sam then quickly descended the stairs and entered the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge and downed half of it before Brooke entered the kitchen. Sam didn't realize how dehydrated she was.

"Hell, Sam. Thirst much?" Brooke walked up to the counter and grabbed an apple that was sitting in the fruit bowl.

Sam screwed the cap back on and placed the bottle in her bag.

"I see today your back to the conservative look," Brooke took a bite into the apple.

Sam didn't respond. She swung the bag over her shoulder and left Brooke standing in the kitchen alone.

"Where is the lively, quick to argue, Sam I knew?" Brooke said sadly to herself as she grabbed her own bag with her free hand and headed off to school.

**PLEASE REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK EVEN IF ITS NOT THAT MUCH EVERY LITTLE BIT IS ENCOURAGING.**


	6. Chapter 6

Sam slammed her locker door shut. Nicole was leaning against the lockers giving her a smug look. Sam turned to walk away, but Nicole cut her off. Sam wasn't in a mood to play Nicole's games so she crossed her arms and waited for Nicole to start.

"Hi Spam. Have a good night?" Sam let a little panic creep through her expression. It was enough encouragement for Nicole to continue. "I didn't know blondes are your type?"

"I have no idea what the hell you're talking about," Sam brushed right past Nicole's shoulder.

Nicole was right behind Sam as if she was her shadow. They entered the Physics room and Nicole sat down next to Sam in Brookes spot. As Sam was scribbling in the answers on her physic's worksheet that she hadn't finished, Nicole let her poisonous words slip from her mouth.

"Well Spam, what was the name of the blonde that you were so close to last night at Stacy's party?" Sam looked at her terrified and confused. "Oh come on you think you're the only one who goes to parties. I've known Stacy forever. So what's her name?" Nicole paused waiting for the answer.

"Don't know," Sam said practically inaudible still looking down at her homework.

"Well she looked like a Brooke to me, don't you think so Sam?" Nicole's last words made Sam's stomach turn. Nicole stood up and went to her seat.

Sam thought she was going to puke. Nicole had figured out her feeling for Brooke and she would never hear the end of it. _Shit, what if she tells Brooke. Calm down Sam, Brooke would never listen or hold credit to anything Nicole had to say._ Sam continued to try and convince herself

"Sam are you ok?" Sam jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Sam turned and saw Brooke had taken her seat next to her. Sam then looked down at the hand on her shoulder. Brooke quickly removed her hand as if she had it on a hot stove.

"Sam?" Brooke was waiting for an answer.

"I'm fine ok," Sam snapped.

"Sam, you are not fine. What did Nicole say to you? Yes I saw her talking to you," Brooke had enough of the quiet, 'I'm fine' Sam.

"Why don't all of you just fuck off. My life is my own business not yours," Sam stood up knocked her stool over and stated loudly for all open ears.

She then grabbed her things, tossed her worksheet on Ms. Glasses desk, and ran from the room.

* * *

"What did you say to her you bitch," Brooke turned around to Nicole who seemed to enjoy Sam's outburst.

"Me? Why are you blaming me? It looked to me as though you're the one who pushed her over the edge," Nicole took defense.

That shut Brooke up. She quickly turned around as the class started. _Damn it, Brooke you don't want to push Sam away. _

As the class progressed, Brooke kept looking to the clock and let her mind wander to thinking about Sam and where she might be. Her eyes drifted back to the front of the room, where Ms. Glass was looking back at her silent. Brooke realized that she was asked a question, but hadn't she hadn't been paying attention.

"So…., what is it McQueen?" Glass questioned.

"Um…could you repeat the question, please?" Brooke asked.

"Definition of Inertia? Glass was becoming impatient.

"An object that is at rest will stay at rest, or an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted on by an outside force," Brooke recited from what she had read in her book from the night before.

"Thank you, Miss. McQueen," Bobbi Glass then continued with her lecture and Brooke went back to staring at the clock.

The second's hand of the clock tick off at a pace that seemed double or even triple of the time it should have taken. Brooke decided that watching the clock was like watching water boil and it would only take longer to get out of class if all she did was think about the time. She decided to take notes and listen and that's when Glass started to talk about an activity that they would be working on tomorrow.

The bell rang and Brooke jammed all her things into her book bag not caring if they would get bent or damaged. She needed to find Sam and see if she was ok. She was ready to rush out of the room when Harrison grabbed onto her hand and held her back.

"Are you ok? You seemed really distracted today during class," Harrison looked concerned.

"Yeah, just tired is all," Brooke smiled at him.

Harrison pulled her into a hug. They pulled apart and Harrison grabbed his bag.

"Walk you to class?" Harrison walked out the door behind Brooke.

"I have to stop at the Novak, so you should just get to your own class," Brooke was going to see if Sam was there.

"Ok, I'll see you later," Harrison gave her a peck on the lips and went to his last class as Brooke headed to the Novak.

* * *

Nicole could never leave things alone. She knew that Brooke would never listen to her about Sam, or anything else for that matter. So she decided to show Brooke what Sam's been up to. She wanted to witness the explosion of drama that would ignite. She had no idea that Brooke had any feelings for Sam, but what she did now was that Sam was totally hot for Brooke and it showed with her hook-up from last night. She wanted to see how Brooke would react with Sam dirty dancing and making out with someone who looked like her.

So she started the plan by planting a party flyer into Harrison's bag when him and Brooke were talking and hugging. Harrison could never say no to a good party that he was invited to. She then quickly left the room and went in search for a quiet location to make a phone call. She pulled out her cell and called up a friend.

"Hey Stacy, could you do me a favor, hun?" Nicole asked sweetly.

"Tell me what it is first," came Stacy's raspy voice threw the speaker.

"Well, you know that warehouse party happening on Friday Night?"

"Yeah"

"Well, could you tell all your regulars and friends about it?" Nicole didn't want to be too specific, just in case Stacy let it slip that Nicole wanted Sam there.

"That's you favor?" Stacy was confused at how stupid the favor was.

"Yeah, I think the more people the better, plus you have all the hook ups. Oh and could you supply some MDMA? I'll pay you back," Nicole almost forgot to ask and it was a major part of her plan.

"Of course I'll let everyone I know about the party. It going to be the Shit. The Best Funkin' Party of the Year," Stacy was enthused. "And yeah I will bring some MDMA with me."

"Ok, bye, hun," Nicole hung up with a smile stretched across her face. This was definitely going to be the best party ever.

**Sorry it took me longer to update. My work load is crazy. The Nicole part was a friends idea I hope you like it. I want to thank all who have been reviewing because it is awesome to get the encouragement. To all you who read my story and like it but don't review, I wish you would because I don't know how many people actually like it. Even if you don't really have much to say other than you like it I don't mind atleast I know that others like the story so please review. Hopeful it won't take me too long to update again.**


	7. Chapter 7

**THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEW YOUR REVIEWS KEEP ME GOING. THANKS TO THOSE WHO ARE STILL READING MY STORY. MY SEMESTER IS COMING TO AN END SO MY SCHEDULE IS BECOMING MORE AND MORE HECTIC, BUT I'LL TRY TO UPDATE SOON.**

After she lost it in class Sam escaped to the Novak. She stood at the mirror, fingers clutching the counter with her upper body leaning over the sink. She felt as though she couldn't breathe. What Nicole had witnessed really made her gut twist. Sam realized that the twisting feeling wasn't just a feeling. She ran to an open stall and let the contents of her stomach spill. After her stomach was empty she dry heaved awhile.

When she calmed down she leaned against the cool metal of the stall. She was exhausted and let her body slide to the floor and sat there till the bell rang. The shrill of the bell broke Sam out of her haze and she struggled to get to her feet. She approached the sink and rinsed her mouth out before searching her purse till she found her pills.

She popped two into her mouth and washed them down with water from the sink. She snatched a towel from the dispenser and wiped the water that had dribbled down her chin. That's when Brooke walked it. Sam rolled her eyes and tossed the towel in the trash can before snatching up her purse quickly. She turned around, ready to flee, only to come face to face with Brooke.

Brooke had her arms crossed and a concerned look on her face. Sam diverted her eyes to the corner of the room. She couldn't look at Brooke right know because it would only remind her of her major mistake.

"Sam, are you ok?" Brooke dropped her arms to the side when she saw that Sam wasn't going to run.

"Yes, Brooke I'm fine," Sam snapped while still staring a picture on a previous student on the wall.

"For Fuck's sake, Sam, you are not 'fine'. You're never home, come in late or drunk, and you lost the fire that kept you going," Brooke couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Are you done?" Sam plainly replied as Brooke fumed.

"No, Sam. Jane hasn't seen you in days and she is starting to worry. You should be at dinner tonight just to make her happy. You can put your partying, or whatever you do, off for one night," Brooke stopped and waited for Sam to answer.

"Fine, tell mom I'll be home for dinner. I have a lot of stuff to catch up on anyway," Sam said as she went around Brooke and out the door.

Sam went to her next class and when the lunch bell rang she left for her job.

She got to the Café and punched in. Bruce was working on some pastries and breads and had looked up when she walked in.

"So you want to work the counter till Becca comes then you can help me back here? You did a good job yesterday," Bruce looked back down so that he wouldn't cut himself while slicing some ham.

"Sure," Sam said as she put on her apron with her name tag.

She went to the counter, relieving the man who was working it. The lunch rush hadn't started yet. She did a few orders before Becca tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey girl," Becca beamed.

Sam smiled and let Becca take over. She went into the back and Bruce put her to work on the breads while he worked on the other menu items. Sam worked till 6pm and punched out. Becca was waiting for her at the back door.

"You partying tonight?" Becca said as they walked to Sam's car.

"Nope," Sam unlocked the car door. "Dinner with the rents."

They climbed in the car and made their way onto the road.

"Ok well you have to go to the warehouse rave tomorrow then," Becca exclaimed. "It is suppose to be the party of the year. Stacy called me up today."

"I'll need the party after having to spending the whole night at home tonight," Sam quickly looked over at her. "So am I dropping you off at home or at Stacy's?

"Home. I should probably get some stuff done. Sam I think we need to talk about the fact that you are gay and have a thing for your step-sister."

"No we don't. I'm not having this conversation while driving," Sam said a little angrily she was reminded of what Nicole said earlier.

"Sam come on you need to talk to someone about it. Does anyone else know about you being gay, because you sure left me out of the loop," Becca was pretty pissed about not knowing about it before.

"Becca I'm not even sure about it myself. So no, I haven't told anyone about it," Sam took a breath before adding the 'but'. "But someone who hates my guts saw me last night with the blonde."

"Oh, Shit. What did the bitch do?" Becca turned a little in her seat facing more towards Sam.

"She was….just herself. She just got to me is all," Sam pulled into Becca's driveway.

They sat there for a bit in silence with the car running.

"Sam call me tonight if you want to talk, ok?" Becca said before she exited the car.

Sam got home just around 6:20. When she entered she spotted her mom at the stove with Brooke chopping veggies for the stir-fry. Her mom turned around and smiled at Sam. Brooke also looked up and gave her a look of relief.

"Hi honey, nice of you to make it home for dinner," Jane was extremely happy to see her daughter. "You can go to your room and work on homework, we have things under control."

"Ok," Sam headed for the stairs.

* * *

Brooke couldn't believe that Sam actually came home in time for dinner. Brooke was now worried that Jane and her dad might interrogate Sam to the point where Sam will leave abruptly during dinner. As she set the table for dinner her Dad arrived home.

"What's for dinner?" Mike asked as he walked over to Jane who was finishing up stir fry. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and leaned over to smell the food sizzling on the cook top.

"Stir-Fry," Jane turned the stove off. She then turned around and looked at Brooke. "Brooke, could you go get Sam, foods ready."

Brooke set the last piece of silverware on the table before she ascended the stairs.

"Sam's home?" Mike looked at his wife surprised.

"Yep, she decided to join us in time for food," Jane said unaware that Sam actually never came home last night.

"Honey, I think we need to talk about Sam's absence," Mike said in a serious whisper.

Jane was putting the food into serving dishes. "What do you mean?"  
"Well, this morning when I left Sam's car wasn't in the driveway. I have a feeling that she never came home," Mike told her his theory.

"Well, we'll have to ask her about it," Jane tried not to sound too worried, as she put the food on the table. "Could you put Kenzie in her highchair for me please."

* * *

Brooke approached Sam's door which was ajar. She lightly knocked. Sam didn't answer so Brooke knocked louder, which caused the door to swing open farther. She saw Sam laying on her bed. She had fallen asleep. She couldn't help but notice how calm Sam looked as she laid on her back. Her eyes traveled over Sam's body, her face was so peaceful with her brunette hair splayed out on the pillow. Brooke slowly approached her and stood at the foot of the bed. She didn't want to wake Sam up, but Jane would wake her up if she didn't.

"Sam wake up," Brooke said loudly.

* * *

Sam shot up from her bed. Brooke had scared her. Sam's was on edge from this morning's situation. She looked side to side and realized that she had just dozed off and that no one but Brooke was in the room. Her eye's settled on Brooke who looked shocked.

"Sorry, but Jane told me to tell you that food is ready," Brooke spoke up.

Neither of them moved for a good minute until Sam got up off her bed and walked past Brooke out of her room without a word. Brooke followed her down the stairs and to the table where Mike and Jane had just taken their seats. Brooke and Sam took their seats.

"Well, this is nice having everyone here for dinner," Jane said with a smile.

Mike started dishing out and passed the food around the table. They all had their food and started to dig in before any conversation took place.

Mike paused from eating, "So Sam, I noticed this morning that your car wasn't in the driveway. I'm curious to hear your reason."

Sam was in the middle of chewing some rice. She slowed down her chewing, giving her time to think up an excuse.

"Well I left this morning early because a friend of mine called really upset about something and needed my help," Sam looked to Brooke who could totally rat her out.

Brooke narrowed her eyes and slightly tilted her head, but it went un-noticed by everyone but Sam. She knew that Sam didn't leave early.

Jane looked at Mike then Sam. "Well, Sam if you leave early could you at least leave a note. I know that you are an adult, but you still live in our house under our rules."

"Ok" Sam looked at Jane. She couldn't believe that they believed her that easily.

"So who was the friend? Carmen or Lily? Are they ok?" Jane asked curiously.

Sam had grown apart from Carmen and Lily after the accident. It was all her fault, she pushed everyone away and kept them away.

"No it wasn't either of them. It was a new friend of mine. Her name is Becca," Sam left out the part about Carmen and Lily.

"Is she a school friend?" Mike chimed in.

"No" Sam wasn't in a mood to talk anymore.

This was new to Brooke. She wondered if Becca was that girl she saw at the house that she dropped Sam off at.

Brooke realized that Sam was starting to sink back into herself and wanting to get away, so she decided to change the subject matter.

"So Dad, how was your day?" Brooke glanced at Sam before giving her Dad her full attention.

Sam was glad that her social life was no longer the subject. She zoned out on her half empty glass of water as Mike went on and on about his work day.

Once everyone finished their food, Jane and Mike went to put Kenzie to bed as Brooke and Sam cleared the table and washed all the dishes.

"Thanks for not telling on me," Sam broke the silence as she put away the last dish.

Brooke was so stunned that Sam was saying thanks to her that almost didn't respond.

"No problem," Brooke gave her a reassuring smile.

Sam didn't return with a smile but quickly went to her room and shut the door.

**PLEASE REVIEW. SORRY NO PARTY IN THIS CHAPTER IT WILL HAPPEN NEXT CHAPTER THOUGH SO DON'T WORRY.**


	8. Chapter 8

**THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS. I WROTE MOST OF THIS REALLY LATE AT NIGHT SO IF THERE ARE QUITE A FEW ERRORS I APOLOGIZE. **

Sam woke up refreshed. It was the best night of sleep she had in a long time. She sat up and swung her legs over to the edge of the bed. Sam pushed herself off her mattress with her hands. She slowly sauntered to her mirror and looked into it. What she saw horrified her. Her hair was wild on the one side she had slept. Her hands attacked the hair in hopes to tame it. She had taken a shower last night and fallen asleep on her wet hair. Big mistake. The brush was not helping enough to her liking.

"Definitely a hat day," She said to her reflection.

Sam was now going to be late. She quickly threw open her closet and stepped into a pair of sweats and slipped a band t-shirt over head. She then grabbed a beanie and pulled it onto her head securely.

Sam made her way down to the kitchen. She noticed a bowl in the sink, a sign that Brooke had already left. She felt relieved. She grabbed a banana and drove to school. Once there she popped a few pills and put a few in her pen before tackling her first class.

She already had her Physics books in her bag, so she headed straight for class. No one was in the room when she entered so she took her seat and looked out the window. Thoughts and images bombarded her mind. She tried to push them back down inside. _Great the drugs are not doing their job._ Brooke was still in the forefront of her mind. She was becoming angry with herself for letting her feelings get the best of her. _ I wish my life was easier. I could of died saving Brooke and rested in peace, but no I have to see her every day. It makes my heart ache. Why can't the drugs heal me of this pain. _Sam wanted so badly to get over Brooke. She felt as if she was a piece of cracked glass just waiting for herself to shatter to the point of no repair.

With her elbows now on the table and her head resting in her hands she felt a tear rolled down the side of her face. She brought her hand up to wipe it away, but paused and traced her scar. More memories flooded her mind and she tried to hold back the tears that were now quickly escaping her tear ducts.

Sam was completely lost in her thoughts that she hadn't realized that students were filing into the room.

"Sam?" Brooke softly spoke.

Before removing her hands from her face she wiped her the tear trails that thank fully didn't stain her skin, for she hadn't put on any eyeliner this morning. She ten cleared her throat but didn't turn to Brooke, she couldn't look Brooke in the face without breaking down in her vulnerable state.

* * *

Brooke saw Sam sitting with her head resting in her hands. She then spotted Nicole smirking towards Sam from behind and figured that Nicole had said something to hurt her.

Brooke took her seat softly and said Sam's name. She saw Sam wipe her cheeks in haste as if trying to make it seem that it was just a hair on her face. Sam cleared her throat and Brooke though Sam might say something but to her dismay Sam just looked at the front of the class silently. Brooke caught sight of Sam's red-rimmed, puffy eyes, she felt her heart break for Sam. Sam was upset and she couldn't do anything about it

She wished she had the courage to tell Sam that she cared for her deeply and not in a sisterly way. She couldn't do that to Sam who was so fragile. Plus Sam would probably never speak to her again for she would feel weird around her. Even though Sam didn't talk with her now she couldn't deal with the possibility that when Sam final would open up, she would of cost herself the chance of ever being friendly with Sam. She couldn't live with losing that possibility. _Sam I'm here and I love you, at least that is what I think, I'm feeling. _

_

* * *

_

The day went quickly for Sam she was punched out and went to her car, which Becca was waiting for her at.

"Shit, girl you look like a wreck," Becca looked her open and down shaking her head.

"Thanks, thanks a lot bitch," Sam unlocked the car for both of them to get in.

"Ok, no fighting. We're going to my house before the party. You need to change," Becca said as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"I've just had a bad day ok," Sam broke the silence.

"Do you want to go to this party? Because we can just hangout tonight and talk," Becca looked at her friend concerned.

"Yes, let's party," Sam ended the conversation as they pulled into the driveway. _I do not want to talk. Anything but talking is good._

They entered Becca's house. She lived with her mother, who was divorced two times, and a younger half sister.

"Hi, Sam nice to see you again," Becca's mother looked up from her laptop as they walked by the living room. "Do you two want some food?"

Becca looked to Sam and Sam shook her head.

"No I think we're fine," Becca said cheerfully to her mother.

"Well if you two want any food there is some leftovers in the fridge," Becca's mom smiled.

They started up the stairs when Becca's mom spoke again.

"Honey, are you going out tonight?"

"Yeah mom we're just going to get ready and then leave, I'm not sure when I'll be home though."

"That's fine. Just be careful ok. I don't want to have to bail you out," Becca's mom added a little humor with the last part, but was still dead serious.

They went up stairs to Becca's room. Sam took a seat on the bed as Becca rifled through her closet for outfits for both of them.

"I'm glad that we wear the same size," Becca stated as she pulled out a few articles of clothing only to put them back.

She pulled out a very short black dress for herself and threw it on the chair behind her. She then grabbed at short denim skirt and a quite revealing top.

"I hope to God that you wore something sexy under your clothes," Becca threw the top and skirt at her.

"Yes, I did," Sam held the clothes in each hand in front of her. "Are you trying to make me look like a whore?"

"Oh, come on Sam it's not like you will know anyone there," Becca started to strip.

Becca slipped into her little black dress and straightened it out in the mirror. Sam hadn't moved from the bed.

"Come on Sam loose the sweats," Becca turned back towards Sam.

Sam did feel comfortable stripping with someone in the room. Yes Becca had seen you half naked the other night but they were still kind of buzzed. It was also dark so Becca probably hadn't seen her scars.

"Sam I promise I'll keep my hands to myself," Becca grinned and over exaggerating by moving her hands behind her back.

"Ha, ha, ha. I'm not afraid of you molesting me," Sam gave a small grin back. "It's just…well…I have a lot of scars and I don't feel comfortable with my body."

"Sam I saw the scars the other night. I just didn't want to bring it up because it was not the right time and it would only made you feel worse," Becca was no longer grinning.

"Oh, well thank you for not saying anything," Sam started to change.

She pulled on the skirt and noticed that it barely covered her ass and scars.

"Really, Becca? Can I be any skankier? " Sam lifted her eyebrow up at Becca?

"Yes, put on the shirt," Becca threw the shirt at her, which had been left on the bed.

Sam rolled her eyes and slipped the shirt over her head and adjusted it. It was extremely low cut to the point that, if she wasn't wearing a bra, one sudden move would cause her to fall out of it.

"Wow, that's hot, but the hat has to go," Becca came up and yanked Sam's hat off. "Oh shit, bad hair day huh?"

"I didn't have time this morning to straighten it out," Sam tried to smooth out the mess.

"Well, I'll go plug the straightener in," Becca went to the bathroom. "Try taming it with the brush first."

Sam brushed her hair till Becca called her into the bathroom.

"I can see the brush didn't do anything," Becca said as she started to straighten Sam's hair.

After Sam's hair was fixed, Becca curled her hair. They found some good sexy shoes and headed were ready to get to the party. Becca and Sam walked down the hall only to be stopped by Becca's 16 year old half sister, Lexi. She looked at both of their outfits before crossing her arms.

"Are you really going out like that?" Lexi questioned them. She was the opposite of Becca she was not the party girl type she was the "Get into an Ivy League College Girl" she spent time taking extra classes and studying. "You look like streetwalkers."

"Nice, Lexi. You're so supportive," Becca pushed her out of the way.

"Just trying to look out for you," Lexi entered her room.

Sam and Becca walked down the stairs and passed the living room, but Becca's mom was nowhere in sight. Sam was glad because even though Becca's mom seemed cool about a lot of things she had a feeling that no one's mom would like to see their daughter leave the house looking the way they did.

Sam drove and Becca gave directions to the warehouse. They found it without any issue. There was a pretty full gravel parking area behind the building but they were able to find a spot. They could hear the music vibrating through the walls as they walked along the building to the entrance. They got to the door and a muscular man was standing guard with a list in one hand.

"Wow Stacy actually got a bouncer and a list," Becca said as they stopped in front of the man.

"Names?" he said loudly over the music.

"Becca Conner"

"Sam McPherson"

The man looked down his list then slid the door open for them.

"Have fun ladies"

"Oh, we will" Becca grabbed Sam's hand and pulled her in.

They entered the large warehouse with dim lighting and music blaring. The DJ was in a corner spinning away and at another corner was a full bar. Sam was looking for something to loosen her up. She pulled Becca to the bar where they both did three shots.

"We need to find Stacy. I want the party favors that she had last time," Becca leaned over to Sam's ear and yelled over the music.

Sam wanted something but wasn't sure if MDMA was a good idea, because of what happened last time. They both leaned against the bar looking out at the crowd trying to spot Stacy. Someone walked into Sam's vision line and stopped. Sam was trying to look around them but was unable to. She tapped the girl on the shoulder. The blonde turned around.

"Spam!" Nicole of all people was blocking her path.

"Satan!" Sam drew her hand back quickly and then looked over at Becca.

"Satan? I take it you two know each other," Becca said confused then downed another shot.

"This is the girl that saw me the other night," Sam said loudly into Becca's ear.

"No, hard feelings Sam let me buy you a drink. I'll buy both of you a drink," Nicole walked up to the bar next to Sam and waved the bartender over.

"N.."

"That's would be great," Becca cut Sam off.

Sam gave her the death glare but Becca was all about a free drink.

"Sam loosen up and have a good time, let her pay for a drink you don't have to like her. Its free booze," Becca looked at Sam.

Nicole had two mojitos in her hand when she turned to them. They took them and she left them to enjoy. They drank them in a short time. Becca spotted Stacy and waved her over.

"Hey girls, what do you think?" Stacy lifted her hands and motion around her.

"Best fuckin party of the year," Becca responded.

"So did you get any party favors yet?" Stacy asked.

"Nope, we were hoping you would have some," Sam looked eagerly.

"Yeah, I got some more MDMA," Stacy pulled out a little baggie.

"Hell yeah," Becca pulled out a pill and then went out to the dance floor.

Stacy offered Sam one but Sam didn't want any MDMA.

"You said you would have other stuff for me," Sam shook her head. "Do you have anything stronger than my usual?"

"Ok fine. Yes I happen to have something stronger," Stacy went to the other side of the counter to get some. "Here" she gave Sam two pills. "Don't take them at the same time though, you understand me."

"Yeah," Sam grabbed the pills.

Stacy left and Sam was standing alone. She was starting to feel funny and she hadn't even taken the drugs yet. She tried to remember how much alcohol she had already consumed but as the effects started to get stronger she realized that it wasn't the alcohol. _Nicole you fuckin' bitch._ Her drink had been spiked and she was pretty sure it was with MDMA. She placed the pills in the pocket of her denim skirt. She couldn't take them now there was no need.

As she left the bar to go dance she felt her anger leave her body. She was dancing and could feel the music pulse through her body.

* * *

Nicole saw her opportunity to put some MDMA in Sam's drink. It happened a lot easier then she expected. She was afraid the Brooke would show up before she had the chance. The bartender set the drinks down and Nicole snuck a look towards Sam and her friend. Seeing that they were still talking she dumped some powder into Sam's drink. She then handed them each a drink before walking away.

She watched from a far. She saw Becca take off to dance leaving Sam at the bar with Stacy. Sam turned down the drugs and said something before Stacy went around to the other side of the bar. She saw Stacy hand something else to Sam, which Sam this time took. Sam turned around and the look on her face said it all. She could tell the Sam was now starting to feel the effects of the drugs. She saw Sam slip the pills into her pocket before heading to the dance floor and letting the drugs take over her body.

Nicole just took a sip of her drink and found a perfect spot to watch the drama to unfold. Just as she found a spot she saw the door to the warehouse open. False alarm but she was sure that any second Brooke would walk through. There is no way that Harrison wouldn't want to come especially when he was invited. He would beg Brooke till she agreed. Any minute now but until then Nicole decided to watch Sam.

**PLEASE REVIEW. REVIEWS ARE WHAT KEEP ME UPDATING EVERY WEEK. REVIEW EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY. I STOPPED IT WHERE I DID BECAUSE I WANTED MORE TIME TO WRITE THIS NEXT PART AND GET IT RIGHT.**


	9. Chapter 9

**SORRY THAT I DIDN'T UPLOAD EARLIER. FINALS HAPPENED AND THEN MY MIND STOPPED FUNCTIONING FOR AWHILE. THANKS TO ALL MY REVIEWERS AND I'M SORRY FOR MAKING YOU GUYS ALL UPSET ON HOW I ENDED THE LAST CHAPTER IT WASN'T NOT MY INTENTION. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER.**

Brooke was changing into party attire when her phone started to ring. She looked at the caller id and saw: HARRISON.

"Hi Harrison," Brooke gave a fake smile into the phone.

"So are you ready to party?" Harrison's voice was all excited.

"Do you really want to go to this party?" Brooke was not as enthusiastic, but definitely was not going to let it show in her voice.

"Of course it's the party of the season and I, Harrison who never gets invited to anything, was invited to this party."

"Ok, sounds like fun and to answer your question I am ready to go," Brooke smoothed her hair out.

"Good I'm waiting outside. See you in a bit."

Brooke hung up the phone and checked out her outfit in the mirror. She then quickly made her way down the stairs saying goodnight to her parents before heading out to Harrison's car.

"You look….you look…." Harrison was lost for words when Brooke approached the car.

"Thank you, Harrison," Brooke kissed the wordless Harrison.

The both climbed in the car and headed to the warehouse. When they pulled up to the party there were many cars already parked around the building. They could see the multicolored lights dimly through the translucent windows.

They approached the bouncer at the door.

"Name?"

"Harrison John and Brooke McQueen."

The man scanned the sheet and spotted their names.

"Go on in," He motioned towards the door.

They both walked in to the party which was packed full of dancing people and very little room to move. They moved with the crowd to the bar and order a few drinks.

* * *

Sam was dancing and the crowd of people became tighter around her but instead of feeling claustrophobic in this situation the drugs were making her feel more connected with everyone. She felt hands on her hips and a body moving with her but from the behind. She slowly turned around and was dancing with some brunette girl who smiled at her. They danced a bit longer before another person joined their little party. Not another girl but some very drugged out touchy guy.

Sam could care less about who was dancing with her. She couldn't let the warm bodies move away from her. They were all grinding together to the beat of the music. The girl leaned closer and started to kiss her and that is when the guy behind her started to caress her more and kiss her neck and shoulder area from behind. She was lost in the euphoria of the drugs and sexual stimulation.

* * *

Nicole was watching from her key spot. She saw a girl join Sam on the dance floor.

"This is going to be good."

Just as she made that statement she saw a guy approach both of them.

"Scratch that this is going to be epic."

She watched their display on the dance floor. From her vantage point they were practically having sex on the dance floor. Her attention was diverted by an appearance of blonde in her peripheral vision.

"Look who's joined the party," Nicole smirked at Brooke who had walked in. "Let the games begin."

* * *

Brooke was sipping on her second drink and Harrison was dancing next to her trying to get her to join in. She was not really in the mood to dance especially when there were so many people bumping into each other and all the sweat and heat from the bodies colliding. She also noticed that most people in the warehouse were on some sort of high. One guy had approached her just seconds after they arrived at the bar and offered her some multi-colored tabs. She of course declined and Harrison was too oblivious to notice the guy because he was enjoying the free alcohol in his possession.

Harrison was on his fourth drink and finally gave up on trying to get her to dance so he ventured out into the crowd to dance with all the other drunk and high people.

"He can't hold his liquor," Brooke shook her head, smiled and took another sip of her drink.

She scanned the crowd trying to spot Harrison, but was unable because of the density of the moving people. A gap in the crowd formed for a second and she spot someone who looked extremely similar to Sam.

_Wow that looked a lot like Sam but Sam would never have a threesome out in the middle of the dance floor. Those people must be on something strong._

The crowd parted again but this time for much longer. Brooke looked at the three of them again the one girl moved her head to the girl's neck. Make that Sam's neck.

_Shit that is Sam._

Brooke dropped her drink as her mind fit all the pieces together. The glass shattered but the sound was lost in the thudding of the music and the blood rushing to her head. Sam's eyes locked with her for a brief moment before the gap closed and Sam was lost in the sea of people again. The look that Sam gave Brooke in that brief second was a look of confusion and uncertainty.

Brooke felt as if she couldn't breathe. She quickly made her way to the door and exited the warehouse. She was outside and sprinted to Harrison's car. She leaned over to catch her breath and that is when her liquor departed from her stomach and made contact with the gravel and tire rubber.

Her mind was like a video clip on loop. It was of Sam, a girl and another guy practically having sex on the dance floor.

_Why did I have to see that? What the hell is Sam thinking? Is she like this at every party? Sam would never do this. That wasn't Sam in there. It had to be a look-a-like. _

Brooke knew better, because that look Sam gave her before they were cut off was definitely a Sam look. She figured that Sam was under the influence and that she had zero control over her body. Brooke was not about to leave Sam in there to make a bad decision, no matter how much the whole situation hurt Brooke. She loved Sam too much to leave her in that party around bad influences.

Brooke cleaned herself up and went back into the fray of the party. She moved through the tight spaces getting tossed about. She finally made it to Sam.

* * *

Sam opened her eyes as the lips of the other girls lips moved to her neck. She spotted someone at the bar that looked quite familiar to her but her brain was so foggy that she couldn't place the face. She looked at the girl with a confused and the girl looked back at her in shock. The gap closed and her lips were captured again by the girls in front of her. She was lost in the high of sexual arousal and she completely forgot the girl that had occupied her mind for those brief seconds.

* * *

Nicole was watching and totally entertained by the look on Brooke's face, but didn't anticipate the reaction of Brooke storming out of the party. She figured there would be more of a confrontation. She watched Brooke leave then looked over to Sam. The whole thing didn't seem to faze Sam but Nicole figured it was because of the drugs. Sam would be lucky to know who she was at this moment.

Nicole was about to leave when she spotted Brooke charge back into the building. Brooke pushed her way through the people in her way. Brooke made it to Sam.

**I KNOW THAT I LEFT IT AT ANOTHER INCONVIENIENT SPOT BUT NOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO. PLEASE REVIEW SO I KNOW THAT YOU ALL STILL ARE ENJOYING MY STORY AND I CAN CONTINUE.**


	10. Chapter 10

**THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED. I APPRECIATE THE LOYAL REVIEWERS. I THOUGHT THAT I WOULD OF HAVE GOTTEN THIS CHAPTER UP SOONER BUT MY VACATION WEEK WAS NOT AS MUCH OF A VACATION AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE.**

The guy dancing behind Sam was now on the side of her and he was holding up two mdma tablets for her and the other girl. Sam enjoying the feeling of the first hit she took she thought another one would set her in an even higher level of euphoria. She opened her mouth and he placed it on her tongue.

It started to dissolve when she felt a hand grip onto her wrist tightly. The next thing she realized was that she was getting pulled through the crowd and out the door. Whoever was pulling her along outside was saying something angrily but Sam wasn't catching any of it.

They stopped outside of Sam's car and that is when the person turned around. The pieces in her mind were trying to place a single thought in her head. After a few seconds the blonde spoke and held her hand out.

"Sam, give me your keys."

"Brooke what are you doing here," Sam smiled, after finally putting some of her thoughts and words together.

"Keys, Sam," Brooke was getting frustrated.

"Wow these drugs are good. You're so life like and trying to be all controlling. This is not real though because Brooke is too responsible to go to a party like this," Sam started to walk away from Brooke and the car.

* * *

Brooke realized that Sam was completely fucked up and this wasn't going to be easy. She was angry that Sam assumed that she couldn't have fun. Sam was walking away from her and Brooke was considering on letting Sam deal with her own issues, but she couldn't do that.

"Sam stop right now!" Brooke yelled and quickly sprinted to Sam.

She grabbed Sam's arm and pulled her towards herself. Sam crashed quite hard into her. Sam started to kiss Brooke on the next and behind her ear. Brooke loved the feeling but knew that Sam was under the influence. She was full of a drug that made a person more sexual and in need of touch. Brooke found Sam's keys before pushing Sam off of her. She then opened the passenger side door and helped Sam in before getting into the driver side.

Brooke started up the car and once out on the highway she called Harrison. She knew that he wouldn't answer so she left a message to let him know that she left the party early.

"Hey Harrison just letting you know that I left the party because I found Sam and she wasn't feeling well so I'm driving her home, so don't worry about me have fun," Brooke hung up the phone and convinced herself that she wasn't completely lying to Harrison.

Brooke felt a hand on her leg and looked down. Sam was starting to get all touchy again. Sam's hand started to travel up Brooke's thigh and closer to her center. Brooke could feel her heat radiating between her legs and she loved it, but wasn't about take advantage of Sam to make herself feel good. She grabbed Sam's hand.

"Sam stop it now," Brooke removed Sam's hand and placed it on the arm rest.

"Oh, come on Brooke you're such a prude. Live a little," Sam started to run her hand up and down Brooke's side.

"Sam stop. I don't want this, you are high," Brooke pushed Sam's roaming hand away.

"Fun sucker," Sam yelled at Brooke before crawling into the back seat.

"Sam! What the hell are you doing?" Brooke was trying to keep her eyes on the road but Sam was being extremely distracting.

Sam was searching around in the back for something and Brooke was watching in the rear view mirror.

"Hell yeah," Sam yelled out almost causing the startled Brooke to go off the road.

Sam threw something on the passenger's seat that made a sloshing sound before crawling back up front.

Sam finally was situated into seat before reaching behind her to grab what she had thrown onto the seat in advance. Brooke looked to see what it was. Sam withdrew a Greygoose vodka bottle and opened it up. She took a long swig before offering some to Brooke.

"What the fuck Sam? How did you get that?" Brooke was even more upset.

"Did you want some?" Sam motioned the bottle to her.

"No! I'm driving for fuck's sake," Brooke was glad they were almost home.

"You need to loosen the fuck up. Your alive so you should live," Sam took another swig of vodka.

Brooke realized that Sam was still sore on the subject of her saving Brooke's life.

"Your right I am alive and I should start living," She reached for the bottle which Sam gave up easily. She then opened the window and threw the bottle out of the car, hoping that there were no cops around to see it. "but not by your standards. You're going to end up killing yourself."

"Bitch! That was a perfectly good bottle," Sam was upset and was starting to come crashing down from her high.

They finally made it home. Brooke was glad that the lights were out meaning that her parents and Mac were asleep. The only challenge now was getting Sam to her room without waking them up. She turned the car off and helped Sam out of the passengers side.

They made it upstairs nice and quiet without much issue other than Sam being a little tipsy and putting a lot of weight on Brooke.

Brooke led Sam to Sam's room where she sat her down on the bed.

"Are you going to be ok?" Brooke asked Sam as she walked over to the door.

Brooke turned around with her hand on the door handle, waiting for Sam to answer.

"Yeah I'll be just great," Sam smiled at Brooke still a little drunk and high.

Brooke turned off the light and slowly started to close the door.

"Brooke?" Sam said so softly that Brooke almost didn't hear her. Brooke heard though and paused.

"What?" Brooke asked in a hushed tone.

"Thank you for not leaving me there in my condition," Sam said so clearly that Brooke would of thought that Sam was completely sober.

Brooke silently closed the door and headed to her room. She laid down on her bed and started up in to the dark in the direction of her ceiling. _Why Sammi, why? Drugs._ Brooke could still feel Sam's touch and how she wished that Sam had been sober and meant her actions. She continued to lay in her bed. She pictured Sam and how Sam's hands had traveled up and down her side and up in between her legs. She knew that this was not the situation to be enjoying these thoughts but for some reason she couldn't help it. She fell asleep to these thoughts.

* * *

After Brooke left the room Sam had laid back on her bed and fell quickly asleep. She awoke to her phone going off three hours later. It was 3 am she searched around for the ringing noise. She found it on the floor next to the foot of the bed.

"Hello?" Sam hadn't bothered to look at the Caller id.

"Sammi! Where the hell are you?" Becca's voice came over the speaker. "Where the fuck is your car?"

"Oh shit, I sorry Becca I'll come and get you," Sam jumped up from her bed completely sober.

"Ok hurry up I'm freezing my ass off out here," Becca then hung up the phone.

Sam arrived at the warehouse ten minutes later. Becca was leaning up against the building. Sam pulled up next to her and rolled down the window.

"What are you waiting for?" Sam yelled to Becca who hadn't moved from the wall.

"I'm coming, no need to yell," Becca pushed off the wall.

Becca climbed into the car and buckled up. When they started moving Becca turned to face Sam.

"So…where the hell did you go?" Becca was more interested than mad with Sam. "Did you leave with someone?" Becca lifted her eyebrows.

"Yes, I left with someone and no it's not what you think," Sam didn't explain.

"Well, what am I suppose to think if that's all the explanation you give me," Becca wanted more.

"I left with Brooke."

"Wait Brooke your step-sister? Way to go Sammi," Becca smiled and gave Sam a little slug in her shoulder.

"I told you it's not what you think," Sam rolled her eyes. "She saw me high no MDMA sandwiched between two people grinding on me and pulled me from the party."

"Sounds like someone was jealous," Becca stated with a smile.

"It wasn't like that she was just embarrassed for me. I was acting like a slut," Sam was disappointed with her own actions especially since Brooke was a witness to them.

"Sam you're the opposite of a slut and plus it was the drugs causing you to act that way," Becca stated.

"Yeah, drugs are always an excuse for bad behavior," Sam said with a sarcastic tone.

"So…did you try anything with Brooke while under the influence?" Becca was trying to get Sam to open up a bit more.

"Yeah, but she pushed my hands off and said she didn't want it," Sam said disappointed as she remembered how Brooke felt uncomfortable with Sam's advances.

"That sucks. I'm sorry Sam, but maybe it was because you were under the influence of drugs. She sounded as though she had been jealous to me," Becca tried to reassure her.

"No Becca she was extremely uncomfortable with me," Sam said sadly.

Sam dropped Becca off at her house and drove back home. She got back home and made sure she stayed quiet. She tiptoed her way of the steps and across the hall to her room. Her door was open and she didn't recall leaving it open. She walked in and flipped the light switch. Brooke had been sitting on her bed but stood when the light splashed across the room. Brooke looked angry and Sam knew that a fight was about to break out so she closed her door.

"Where the hell did you go? God Sam you were high and drunk and yet you drove off at 3 in the morning. You're fuckin' reckless." Brooke looked purely angry to Sam yet Brooke was also worried which Sam hadn't noticed.

"Brooke you're not my mother and I'm stone cold sober. For your information I didn't go to the party alone. At 3 this morning I got a phone call from a friend I had left at the party so I had to pick her up. You know what good friends would do for each other. Would you have rather me leave her out in the middle of the warehouse district alone and freezing to death?"

Brooke didn't know what to say but the anger on her face melted away.

"Can you get out now so I can get some sleep? I'm starting to get a headache," Sam walked over to her bed where Brooke was standing.

Brooke walked around Sam.

"Sam?"

"What?"

"I'm glad you're ok and I'm sorry for yelling at you," Brooke then left the room.

**TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK SO FAR. REVIEW! I'VE BEEN WORKING ON ANOTHER STORY FOR POPULAR BUT I WANTED TO SEE HOW READERS REACTED TO THIS ONE FIRST.**


	11. Chapter 11

**WARNING: GRAFFIC ATTACK I TRIED TO KEEP IT MINIMAL**

**I HAVE A FEELING ALOT OF YOU MAY NOT LIKE WHAT I DID IN THIS CHAPTER, BUT I NEED SAM TO HIT A ROCK BOTTOM POINT TO REALIZE THAT SHE NEEDS HELP.**

**THANK YOU FOR ALL THE REVIEWS I GOT LAST CHAPTER. THEY WERE ENCOURAGING.**

Two weeks went by with Sam avoiding Brooke at all costs. She was embarrassed that Brooke had seen her in the compromising situation at the party. Sam kept thinking about how Brooke had rejected her. She decided that herself and Brooke would never happen other than in her own dreams.

Dreams were the key to Sam's happiness. Sam delved deeper into drugs and alcohol. She stayed most nights at Stacy's house where she could get as many drugs as she could. She had stopped showing up to work and lost her job. She stopped talking to Becca, because Becca was making her feel worse about her personal use of drugs that were the only thing that made her happy. She quickly ran out of money. No money, No drugs.

"I'll pay you next week please just spot me some pills," Sam pleaded from a dirty stained couch in Stacy's basement.

"Sammie, you already own me money. Plus you don't have any income anymore," Jake, Stacy's brother poured them both shots of vodka before sitting next to her on the couch.

He handed her the shot glass and they both took the shot of vodka. The alcohol burned the back of Sam's dry throat. She set the glass on the table with all the empty beer cans from the night before.

"Please, I'll do anything to repay you just please give me some of your strongest stuff," Sam pleaded yet again not willing to give up.

Jack scooted closer to Sam and placed his calloused hand on her bare thigh. He started to work his hand up under her mini skirt. His body shifted closer to her and he leaned till his lips were mere centimeters from her ear.

"Anything?" His hot vodka breath tickled her ear. His hand moved farther up till it was hovering just under her panties.

Sam wanted to slap him in the face, call him a perv, and storm off. She didn't move. She need the drugs. She could feel the acid bowel from her stomach rising up her throat, but she swallowed and pushed back the voices in her head that were screaming at her to stop.

"One condition." She turned to him. He wasn't ugly by any means but he was using her and was not the nicest guy.

"What?" He started to kiss her neck and breath her in.

"I get the drugs now," Sam closed her eyes praying that he would agree.

"You got a deal," He got up from the couch and left the room.

_Run Sam. Get the hell out of there this is a big mistake. No. There is no other way. I lost my job and the economy is crap. I'll just take some of the pills and drinks a few more shots. I won't remember any of it._

She got up from her comfy spot on the couch and made her way to the bar. She stepped behind in and poured herself a shot. She downed in and then did three more before Jake came back in the room with a baggie of pills.

He approached the bar and set the bag down before pouring himself a drink. She pulled out two pills and swallowed them dry. She placed the baggie in her purse and then sat back down on the couch to let the drugs take effect.

He came to the couch and pushed her down till he was laying, on top of her, on the couch. She started to panic.

"Take the drugs back. I changed my mind," She tried to push him off of her.

"We made a deal, bitch. You own me money plus you already took some," He started to remove her shirt and bra while blocking her punches.

"No! Get the hell off. I'll get you your money, please just stop," Sam was panicking and throwing punches to his face, which he blocked them all.

His hands grabbed on to her skirt and panties and pulled so fast that Sam couldn't react quick enough. He grabbed her hands and pinned them above her head with his right hand while his left hand roamed her naked form.

Sam was crying hysterically pleading for him to stop. He ignored her pleads and entered her hard and fast.

Sam felt as if she was having an out of body experience. He continued to rape her as she tried to believe that this was not happening. _This is a nightmare. God Sam wake up. Get the hell up._ It seemed to last forever. He finally finished with her and left her on the couch naked and cold. Sam felt as if she couldn't move. She laid there a few more minutes before being able to sit up. Once she sat up she found her clothes and entered the bathroom.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She saw and empty expression looking back at her. The bile she had forced down before finally broke through its dam. She fell to the toilet bowl and let it all out. She emptied all the contents in her stomach before cleaning her mouth out. She didn't clean the evidence of him on her just yet because she decided to ignore it instead. She put her clothes back on and left the bathroom.

She walked over to the bar and grabbed her purse and the 3/4 full vodka bottle sitting out. She went to her car and sat in it till she could figure out where she should go.

* * *

Brooke had realized that Sam had been avoiding her but she chalked it up to her having seen Sam under the influence. Over these two weeks Brooke decided that she was not being fair to Harrison. Today she was going to break up with him and hope that he would understand that their relationship was going nowhere.

The last bell rang and Brooke went straight for her locker knowing that Harrison would meet her there. She walked around the corner and sure enough there he was leaning against her locker smiling. She gave him a small smile back, but knew that his smile would fade when they had their talk.

"Hi there gorgeous," Harrison moved to lean against the next locker so that Brooke could open hers.

"Hi," Brooke opened her locker. She switched out some books and closed the door. She looked over to Harrison. "Can we talk?"

"Of course," Harrison looked a little worried.

"Ok how about we meet at my place," Brooke said as they headed towards their cars.

They were sitting on the couch, sipping on some water when Brooke decided to talk.

"Harrison, you've been a great boyfriend and friend," Brooke started off.

"Well, I have a great girlfriend that brings out all my good qualities," Harrison smiled and set his water on the coffee table.

_Oh boy, this is going to suck. Brooke you're going to break his heart._

"Harrison…I think we should break up," Brooke said slowly but the rest of her words came running faster out her mouth, not letting Harrison respond quite yet. "I just think that are relationship isn't going anywhere and I feel like I'm just stringing you along."

"Do you really think that?" Harrison's had hurt look in his eyes.

Brooke couldn't look him in the eyes she felt guilty for being with him when she knew deep down that she would have rather been with someone else.

"Yes, and I'm sorry. I really am," Brooke looked in to his eyes briefly before focusing on something just past his head.

Harrison stood up to leave. "Is there someone else?" Harrison asked before he walked out of the room.

"No, well maybe, I'm not sure. I didn't cheat on you. I just have feelings for someone else and you deserve some who is 100% devoted to you and that person is not me," Brooke answered.

Harrison left the house without another word and Brooke didn't blame him, but she hoped that someday they would still be able to be friends.

Brooke curled up on the couch and watched the end of a Food Network show. Just as another one started she heard a knock on the back door.

* * *

Becca was worried about Sam. Sam had shut her out and wouldn't return her phone calls. She had gotten a call yesterday from Stacy, saying that Sam was starting to get in trouble with not being able to pay for her drugs.

Becca had the day off and decided to stop by Sam's and talk to her even if Sam tried to ignore her. Becca drove up to the house and walked around to the back door. She knocked on the glass. A blonde opened the door and Becca recognized her as Brooke.

"Hello, how can I help you?" Brooke asked.

"I'm looking for Sam," Becca smiled at her.

"Sam is not home. My I ask who you are?" Brooke crossed her arms defensively.

"I'm Becca, Sam's friend from work," Becca said, then realized that Sam hadn't told anyone about her job.

"Work? Sam has a job? Where?" Brooke was shocked.

"Well she used to work at the Café on Grand," Becca stated.

"Used to?" Brooke was full of questions.

"Oh, um can I come in I feel a little awkward standing out here playing twenty questions," Becca realized that she was going to get to the bottom of Sam's feeling for Brooke by seeing if the blonde had any feelings in return.

"Yes come in. Can I get you something to drink?" Brooke asked as she went to refilled her cup up with some more water.

"Yes, please water's fine," Becca closed the door behind her and leaned on the counter watching Brooke get the refreshments together.

Brooke handed Becca water before they headed into the living room.

Brooke sat on one end of the couch as Becca sat at the other end. The both drank some water before Becca answered Brooke's pending question.

"She was fired last week because she stopped showing up," Becca set her glass down on a coaster being polite.

"I don't understand why she had a job and didn't tell us. We would of noticed if Sam started buying things, unless she was saving it all," Brooke stated in disbelief.

Becca started to become uncomfortable and was unsure if she should be slipping Sam's dirty laundry. She decided to spill because her concern for Sam's well being was a more important than Sam hating her.

"She was using the money to buy drugs and booze," Becca reached over and grabbed the glass of water and took a swallow.

"Drugs? What the hell. What kind of drugs?" Brooke was clearly upset.

"Painkillers," Becca said calmly.

"Why painkillers?" Brooke asked probing for why someone she cared about would be hooked on painkillers.

"It was for emotional pain," Becca answered Brooke.

Brooke's mind was going a hundred miles a minute. Sam. Emotional pain. Drugs.

Becca cleared her throat. "Brooke the reason I came here is because I got a call from Stacy who told me that Sam was in debt with her drug dealer and that she was unable to pay him because she is broke. That is really bad. Sam is starting to slide more quickly down with her consumption of drugs. I came to help her get help for her problem before she does something stupid."

Brooke rambled on about something like she was in shock. "You know Sam would have been the last person I would have ever guessed who would allow this to happen to her." Brooke started to shed tears and blubber out incoherent phrases.

"God Sammi. Why? Don't you know how many people care about you? How much I care about you? I hear all this and it kills me. I fuckin' love you Sam, are you blind?"

Becca's head snapped up and she couldn't believe her ears, but then she thought that Brooke's love could be sisterly. She needed to find out though. If Brooke felt the same way Sam did for her then she knew that Sam could pull through all this.

Becca scooted over to Brooke and placed a comforting hand on Brooke's shoulder.

"I'm extremely nosey and you could tell me to go screw myself, but I have to know," Becca tried to lighten up the mood a bit. "Do you love Sam in a sisterly way or I can't keep my hands to myself kind of way?"

Brooke's sniffling stopped abruptly and her tear streaked face looked shocked at Becca. She couldn't believe how forward this girl was. She could tell though that Becca was serious with her question and wanted a serious answer.

"Well, it's definitely not a sisterly love but it's also not the later," Brooke said. Who was she kidding though it was definitely the later and much deeper.

Becca could read her face like a neon sign. "Oh my God, you are totally hot for you step-sister. That is so hot."

"And you are so inappropriate at the wrong time," Brooke looked at her horrified but then smiled, she couldn't help it.

Becca didn't want to tell Brooke about Sam's feelings because that would be stepping over the line in her book. However she could help things along though.

"Brooke I think you need to tell her about how you feel," Becca stated her opinion clearly.

"Why, she doesn't feel the same and I'll probably scare her off," Brooke wiped the tears off her face.

"First off you can't scare Sam off that easily, and secondly you can keep your feelings hidden forever. If you don't say anything you can move forward in your life because they will keep you cemented in the past," Becca tried to coax Brooke out of her shell.

"Easier said than done," Brooke stated sadly but she knew that Becca had a point.

Becca was about to say something when her phone started to ring. She pulled it from her bag and saw Sam on the caller id.

"Sam?" Becca asked.

Brooke tried to hear Sam from where she was sitting but couldn't.

"What? Sam where are you?" Becca said loudly and completely worried. "Ok? Stay put. I'll be there in under ten."

Becca ended the call and jumped up from the couch. She looked and Brooke who was waiting for her to say something.

"Sam's is in trouble. You're coming with me. Ass off couch now," Becca yelled and headed to her car with Brooke at her heels.

**PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS CHAPTER. REVIEWS KEEP ME WRITING.**


	12. Chapter 12

**HEY SORRY IT TOOK ME AWHILE TO POST THIS CHAPTER. WINTER SEMESTER JUST STARTED SO ITS BEEN A LITTLE CRAZY. I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND MESSAGES. IT MAKES ME SMILE KNOWING I HAVE PEOPLE STILL INTERESTED IN MY STORY. **

Sam was sitting in her car parked in Becca's driveway. She felt as if she had been having an out of body experience till she called Becca. Reality smacked her in the face and the tears broke free. Becca was on the other end and Sam was blubbering incoherently into the phone. She was pretty sure Becca didn't understand any of her explanation, but Becca said she was on her way then hung up. Sam was in hysterics. She dropped the phone onto the passenger's seat and picked up the vodka bottle. She unscrewed the cap and took a swig.

She saw the baggie of drugs peeking out of her purse and watched her hand pick it up. She hated all these feelings. Emotions ripped through her body. She felt disgusting. She wanted these emotions gone. She figured a few pills would be just enough. She popped three and downed them with some alcohol that burned at the back of her throat. Her mind was racing. She figured that the drugs weren't doing their job so she took a few more. With more drugs and alcohol in her body she finally felt herself calming down and relaxed into her seat.

The next thing she remembered was her name being yelled over and over and her body was being shacked. She opened her eyes a bit and saw Becca in her face with Brooke standing behind her.

"Hey Becca…Brooke," Sam smiled in her too calm state.

* * *

Becca and Brooke whipped into the driveway and exited the car quickly. Becca was the first one to reach the Sam's car. She opened the door and saw Sam. Sam looked as if she was sleeping.

"Sam?" Becca said in a calm normal pitched voice. She didn't want to startle Sam.

Sam didn't respond so Becca tried a little louder.

"Sam, wake up," Becca placed her hand on Sam's shoulder.

"Becca is that a vodka bottle in the drink holder?" Becca looked to the holder. The bottle had very little left in it.

The next thing she looked for was the drugs. She saw that Sam's left hand was clutching onto an empty bag. She pulled it from her grasp and looked at it. It was marked with Jack's dealer logo.

"God damn it, Sam." Becca then grabbed Sam and shook her violently. "Sam, open your fucking eyes! Sam!"

Sam finally opened her eyes slightly and looked at them and smiled. "Hey Becca….Brooke"

Becca held up the empty bag in Sam's face. "How many pills were in this bag?"

Sam squinted like she was trying to concentrate. Finally she spoke. "Can't remember."

"How did you get the money for them?" Becca knew that Sam already owed money and last she knew Sam had been clean out of drugs, Stacy had informed her.

Sam's eyes started to close. Becca shook Sam's shoulder's causing Sam to look at her and answer.

"Jack made me a deal, but then I changed my mind and said no. He told me I couldn't go back on the deal."

Sam closed her eyes again.

Becca forgot that Brooke was standing behind her, till Brooke spoke.

"Becca we need to get her to the hospital, now."

Becca mentally kicked herself she was too busy getting angry with Sam that the fact that Sam's was overdosing didn't really faze her.

"Shit, shit, shit, help me get her into my car," Becca locked her arms under Sam's armpits and pulled her out of the car. Sam was extremely light. She had lost a lot of weight since she started using drugs.

Brooke shut the car door. They both took one side of Sam and carried her to the car. Brooke got into the back seat and then Becca got Sam into the back. She got behind the wheel and reversed out of the driveway.

"Brooke, try to get her to open her eyes," Becca said as she got on route to the hospital.

"Brooke? Are you with me?" Becca looked into the rearview mirror and saw Brooke looking down at Sam, whose head was in her lap. "Brooke?"

* * *

Brooke was terrified. She was watching the one person she loves die right before her eyes. Sam didn't know her feels and might never know. Brooke wanted to cry and yell at Sam for being so stupid. Sam looked peace full resting in her lap.

"Brooke?"

Brooke broke out of her daze. "What?"

"Get her to open her eyes" Becca locked eyes with Brooke in the mirror.

"Ok," Brooke felt as if she was a child. She felt as if she was useless in this emergency situation.

Brooke lightly shook Sam and said her name loudly. Sam didn't respond.

"Fuck, Sam, open your eyes," Brooke started to freak out. "Becca she's not opening her eyes."

"Ok check for a pulse," Becca tried to stay calm.

"Oh God, Oh God," Brooke was about to grab an arm but realized that the neck would be a better place to check for a pulse.

She placed two fingers against Sam's neck. She felt a weak pulse or it could of just been her over active brain playing tricks on her.

"I think I felt a pulse, but it's weak," Brooke stated.

"We're almost there," Becca said as she drove ten over the speed limit.

Brooke grasped on to Sam's hand and that is when she realized the finger like bruises on Sam's wrist.

"Becca, how did Sam get the drugs again," Brooke asked as she lightly tracked over the fresh bruises.

"She said something about a deal and how even though she tried to back out of it Jack told her she couldn't. Why?" Becca looked at Brooke in the mirror.

"Sam has finger shaped bruises on her wrists. You said that she was hysterical and you couldn't understand her over the phone. You said that she was in trouble. Plus she took all the drugs for a reason right?"

* * *

"Oh God, that motherfucker…" Becca hit the steering wheel. She then turned into the hospital emergency entrance.

She drove up and a paramedic who was heading back to his vehicle approached them. Becca got out of her car.

"Miss, you can't park here this is for emergency vehicles only."

"Well this is a fucking emergency. My friend overdosed on a mix of painkillers and vodka," She opened the door to show him.

He saw Sam sprawled out in the back and ran to get a gurney and help. He came back out with a gurney and two nurses. They got Sam out of the car and onto the gurney. The paramedic and nurses raced her into the ER.

Becca caught up with one of the nurses.

"She might have also been raped before she overdosed, I think that is the reason for the overdose," Becca stated before they stopped her from going any farther.

Brooke was at reception filling out forms. She was going to join Brooke, but then the paramedic cut her off.

"Miss, I know that this is an emotional situation but you really need to move your car."

"Ok"

Becca walked past Brooke.

"I'm going to go park the car, but I'll be back," Becca followed the paramedic out to her car which was still running and had two of the doors wide open.

* * *

Brooke approached the nurse's station.

"Hello, how can I help you?" the nurse smiled up from her computer screen.

"I'm with the girl they just carted through here," Brooke said with little emotion. She felt as if this was all surreal. That none of this was happening. It was like dejavu. It's been less than a year since the accident but here she is again.

"Well, I need family to fill out forms for her, do you know their numbers," the nurse asked.

"I'm family," Brooke locked eyes with her.

"Are you immediate family?" the nurse looked at her skeptically.

"She my step-sister. Is that immediate enough?" Brooke answered back a little peeved.

"Ok well you can fill out some of the form like the basic stuff but I'll need one of your parents to come in and fill out the rest," She handed a clipboard to Brooke. Brooke filled out everything she could along with contact info and handed the board back to the nurse.

She sat down in an empty seat. She stared at a spot on the floor till Becca popped down in the seat next to her. She looked up at Becca.

"Sam was raped wasn't she," Brooke looked Becca in the eye making sure she got the truth out of Becca.

"It looks that way. Stacy said that Jack sometimes trades his drugs for sex and he doesn't like to be toyed with. If Sam said 'no' he might of just forced her," Becca looked away from Brooke and found the spot, that Brooke had found so interesting beforehand.

They sat in silence for a few more seconds both concentrating on the floor when Brooke finally broke down. She was crying and getting angry with herself for not seeing Sam's pain. People all around the waiting room were looking at Brooke who was scolding herself and balling at the same time.

"How could I be so blind, I mean I knew that Sam wasn't herself but tragic accidents could do that to people. I figure that if she wanted to talk she would. I'm so stupid. Maybe if I told her about my feelings she could of come to me for help," Brooke was going on and on.

* * *

Becca saw all the stares they were getting so she pulled Brooke into a hug.

"It's not your fault," was all Becca could say, but it was indirectly Brooke's fault. It was Sam's bottled up feelings for Brooke that did it plus the final push over the edge, which was completely Jack's fault.

**PLEASE REVIEW. LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS. THE STORY PROBABLY WON'T BE MUCH LONGER. I'M TRYING FOR A HAPPY ENDING BUT I'M NOT GOOD AT HAPPY ENDINGS. **


	13. Chapter 13

**I KNOW ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE MY LAST UPDATE. ITS BEEN A ROUGH COUPLE OF WEEKS AND I'VE BEEN LACKING INSPIRATION. I'M NOT SURE IF ANYBODY IS STILL ENJOYING THE STORY SINCE I GOT ON ONE REVIEW FOR MY LAST CHAPTER AND IT WAS FROM SOMEONE NEW. THANK YOU TO THE NEW READER IT HELPED ME KICK IT BACK INTO GEAR.**

Sam could hear hushed voices around her. It sound like her mom and Mike they sounded upset. Sam wasn't understanding why they would be in her room talking quietly. She slowly opened her eyes and was assaulted by fluorescent light. Feet shuffled to the side of her bed and she felt a warm hand gently rest on hers.

"Sam, honey?" her moms voice softly questioned.

Sam's eyes started to adjust to the light. She realized that she was not in her room at home but somewhere else. There was an all to familiar beeping noise coming from her left. She turned her head and saw that her conclusion was right. She was in a hospital room. Sam looked back up to her mother with a confused face. She tried to remember how she got here but couldn't.

"Mom? What…..what happened?" Sam asked dryly.

"You don't remember. Sam..," her mother started to tear up. "you overdosed." Jane was now crying uncontrollably. She was happy that her daughter was alive but was devastated about how close she came to losing her daughter. Mike quickly walked around the bed to comfort his wife.

Sam was trying real hard to remember what happened but couldn't. A doctor came in to check on her.

"Hello Samantha, how are you feeling?" the doctor picked up her chart and walked to the right side of her bed.

Sam realized that her stomach was hurting, but not all that bad. "Fine, I guess." Sam looked up to him.

The doctor looked up to Jane and Mike. "I'm sorry but I need you to step out for a bit. She is an adult now and that means I can't discuss anything with you unless your daughter decides that it is ok."

"We'll be right back Sam," Jane squeezed Sam's hand for reassurance. They then left the room closing the door behind them.

"Do you remember anything Sam?" the doctor set down the chart and pulled a seat over for himself.

"No…I'm trying but I still don't remember," Sam looked over to him sadly.

"Well, we pumped your stomach. You hand ingested a lot of painkillers and alcohol. Your friend and sister brought you in. Your friend believed that you were raped so we also did a pelvic exam. There were signs of sexual trauma. We had to wait till now though before we offered the Morning After Pill."

Sam remembered the assault and how she had driven to Becca's. She remembered that she started to drink and take some drugs but she couldn't remember how much. She started to cry. The pain and trauma from the rape were overwhelming for her.

The doctor pushed the nurse button and when the nurse came he asked her to bring in a cup of water and the pill. The nurse returned a few minutes later. Sam had calmed down long enough to swallow the pill. The doctor looked at her.

"Sam I can't tell you parents about the sexual assault that is up to you. Let one of the nurses know if you want to report it and they can let the police know. Ok?"

Sam nodded her head. She just wanted to sleep, but she knew her mom and Mike would be back.

The doctor left and Jane entered.

"Where's Mike?" Sam quietly asked her mother and Jane sat in the seat next to her bed.

"He wasn't able to take the day off tomorrow so he went home to get some sleep," Jane placed her hand on the thin hospital blanket.

"That's ok, you should go home and get some rest I'm not going anywhere," Sam suggested.

"I can stay, I'll be fine," Jane reassured her daughter. Sam could tell that her mom was still worried that Sam might do something if she left.

"Seriously mom, I was going to go to sleep anyway. Please go home and get rest. Nurses will be checking on me every hour anyway, ok?" Sam was verbally nudging her mom to leave.

"Ok, I'll go but I'll be back right away in the morning," Jane got up and leaned down to kiss Sam on the forehead. "Goodnight, Samantha." Her mom left the room.

Sam closed her eyes. Ten minutes went by and then an hour which the nurse came in to check on her, and she still was unable to fully rest. Her body was exhausted but her mind was running as if on a caffeine high. She continued to lay there with her eyes closed hoping that she would drift off.

The door quietly opened and Sam figured the nurse forgot something so she didn't even bother opening her eyes. Footstep sounded off the hard flooring of the room. The person made their way to the chair next to her bed. The metal legs of the chair scraped lightly across the floor and then creaked slightly as weight was placed on the small metal frame.

"God Sammy, why? Why would you do this?" Brooke's voice shattered the silence.

Sam didn't want to have this discussion, so she kept he eyes closed.

The metal legs of the chair scratched the floor as the as Brooke scooted closer to the bed. Brooke laid her hand on top of Sam's. She hadn't realized how cold her hands where until Brooke's warm hand gave her hand a small squeeze.

"There is so much I want to tell you, but I was afraid that it would scare you even farther away from me," Brooke paused. "I love you Sam."

Sam's mind tried to rationalize what Brooke had said. _She loves you like a sister don't get carried away. She doesn't love you the same way that you love her._

Brooke continued on with her confession, interrupting Sam's inner thoughts. "I love you Sam, but not in a sisterly way. I love you. I wish I was there you catch you when you fell. It's been hurting me to see you hurting, and not letting me it."

Sam thought her mind was playing a trick on her. _Did she say NOT in sisterly way. No she said a sisterly way. It's exhaustion talking, Sam, nothing more._ Sam waited for Brooke to say something more, to clear up her confusion, but clarity didn't come.

"Goodnight Sam, see you in the morning," Brooke squeezed Sam's hand one more time before leaving the room. Sam drifted off to sleep a few minutes later.

* * *

Brooke met up with Becca in the lobby. They drove in silence the whole way back to Brooke's house_._ Becca put the car into park allowing Brooke to exit. Brooke had taken a step out of the car before turning around to Becca.

"It was nice to meet you, even under these bad circumstances," Brooke gave a small smile.

Becca returned the smile and Brooke continued to get out of the car. "Oh, wait a sec," Becca caused Brooke to pause and look back into the car. Becca was writing something on a piece of paper. She then stretched her hand, with the paper, out to Brooke. "My number, so you can call me if you need to talk. I figure we can be good friends." Brooke took the paper and closed the door.

Brooke laid on her bed and stared up to the ceiling. _Brooke you such a coward, telling Sam how you feel as she slept. No you did a good thing, she doesn't need this drama and emotional crap at this time. I can wait. I've been waiting. This time I will be there for her even if she hates me for it._

Brooke sat up in her bed and before she forgot she plugged Becca number in to her phone. She really needed to talk to someone. Becca knew her feelings about Sam. She wished they had talked in the car on the way over, but she knew that Becca was trying to be kind about the situation. She was about to call the number but caught sight of the time on the clock and though otherwise. She didn't need Becca to think she was clingy and in need of a friend only to vent to. She decided to go to sleep and call her in the morning for coffee and then they could head over to the hospital to see Sam.

She didn't bother to change into her pajamas, instead she crawled under her bedding and hugged onto her body pillow. She closed her eyes and waited for sleep to take over.

**PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW. YES I'M BEGGING BUT ONLY SO I CAN SEE IF PEOPLE ARE STILL INTERESTED IN THIS STORY. IF PEOPLE AREN'T STILL INTERESTED THERE IS NO REASON FOR ME TO UPDATE AT A QUICKER PACE.**


	14. Chapter 14

**THANKS TO ALL OF YOU WHO REVIEWED OR SENT ME MESSAGES THEY MADE ME SMILE KNOWING YOU ARE ALL STILL ENJOYING THE STORY. NOT REALLY SURE IF I LIKE THIS CHAPTER, BUT IT SETS UP FOR OTHER THINGS TO COME. I'VE DECIDED THAT I'M GOING TO MAKE THE STORY LONGER THEN I ORIGINALLY INTENDED. ENJOY...I HOPE.**

Brooke awoke to her alarm clock she slightly lifted her head from the comforts of the pillow. The clocks digital lights blinked in succession with high pitch beeps. She felt as if the alarm was mocking her and reminding her that she only got four hours of sleep.

She hit the power button, ceasing the beeps. Brooke flung back her covers causing cool air to rush to her body. She got off her bed and looked down at her ruffled bed sheets wishing she could climb back in surround herself with warmth and more sleep, but she had a lot of things to do. She took a shower and changed into comfortable clothes, before heading down to the kitchen.

Brooke entered the kitchen and saw Jane sitting at the counter, sipping her coffee. Jane looked up from her reading to see Brooke standing, unsure of what to do.

"Good morning, Brooke," Jane smiled and took another sip of coffee. "I called the school to let them know what's going on. They told me that you can stay home today if you would like."

"Yeah, I think I wouldn't be able to concentrate if I went to school today," Brooke walked over to the coffeemaker and poured herself a cup.

"I was just about to go see Sam. Did you want to come with?" Jane got up from her seat.

"I was thinking about stopping by later, after meeting up with someone," Brooke sat down where Jane had just vacated.

"Oh, ok no need to rush on over she will be one more night. The doctor wanted her to have a psych consult plus they want to keep her under observation. Apparently her body has low levels of something I can't recall now," Jane said while washing her breakfast dishes. Jane dried off her hands. "Well I'll be going, see you later," Jane gave Brooke a motherly kiss on the cheek and left Brooke in the kitchen with her mug of coffee.

Brooke continued to sit and drink her coffee contemplating her schedule of the day. She decided to see if Becca wanted to meet up and talk. She drained the last drop of liquid caffeine out of her cup before going to her room to grab her phone.

She found the number in her cell phone and hit send. She prayed that Becca had decided to not go to school today either. On the fifth ring a cheery voice answered.

"Hey there hot stuff," Becca voice said through the phone.

"Um…ok...?" Brooke was put back by the greeting.

"Brooke? Is that you?" Becca's cheery voice changed to concern and uncertainty.

"Yeah it's me," Brooke know felt completely awkward.

"Oh shit I'm so sorry for calling you hot stuff, not that you aren't hot, because you are, but I didn't have your number in my phone and I thought you were someone else," Becca rambled.

"Oh good to know," Brooke let out a little laugh.

"So what's up," Becca pushed the conversation forward away from the weird greeting.

"I was just wondering if we could meet somewhere, if you're not busy, I understand if you can't," Brooke's words spilled out of her mouth so fast she was afraid that Becca didn't catch half of what she said.

"Definitely, I'm free. I was going to stop by and see Sam later," Becca smiled into the phone.

"You don't have school to get to do you?" Brooke wanted to make sure that she wasn't asking Becca to skip school.

"Nope, I decided to take a sick day. My mom knows what happened and said that one day from school won't make me a deviant," Becca reassured Brooke that she was indeed free.

"Ok, how about we meet and Jitter's?" Brooke suggested.

"Sounds good to me meet you in fifteen, see ya," Becca hung up the phone.

Brooke put her phone into her purse and quickly put on some makeup, for the bags under her eyes were causing her to look ten years older than she was. She looked at the time and realized that she needed to get going.

* * *

Sam awoke to a nurse who came in to check on her at 7am.

"How are you feeling?" the nurse asked looking at her chart.

"Fuckin' fantastic," Sam said sarcastically through a raspy voice.

"Samantha!" a voice from the door exclaimed.

Sam looked over to see her mother enter. "Watch your language and don't talk to the nurse like that." Sam rolled her eyes at her mother.

"It's ok, I've dealt with worse," the nurse put the chart back and left the room.

"I see my daughter its feeling better if she is going to retreat to sarcastic comments," Jane sat down in the seat by the bed. "But please refrain from the use of the F-word in my presents."

"Ok mom I won't corrupt your sensitive ears," Sam gave her mom a small smile.

"So how are you really feeling?" Jane became serious.

"I feel like crap, but I'll survive," Sam responded then realized she should have watched her word choice.

"Samantha, honey, we need to talk about what happened," the older women squeezed Sam's hand.

Sam took a breath she wasn't sure if she was ready to talk to anyone just yet. She knew that staying silent was only hurting her mother, but she could tell her everything just yet. Her head was pounding from the withdrawal of her pain meds and the hospital wouldn't give her any because of her recent history. She decided to give her mother a piece of the story but not all of it.

"Sam?" Jane asked concerned as her daughter continued to look at the ceiling in silence. "Please let me in to the brain of yours."

"What do you want to know exactly?" Sam didn't know where to start.

"Well….how about…the reason for you to get into drugs?" Jane responded and scooted closer to Sam's bed side.

Sam tried to figure out how much to let her mom in on and decided to leave out Brooke's name.

"Well it happened this summer after I had healed from the accident. I didn't like how people treated me like I could break any second. They instead avoided me and I decided that it would be easier if I just avoided them. There had been this person I liked also that didn't even acknowledge me same way after the accident and it continued to crush me, leaving me feeling empty. The only way to fill the emptiness was to take pain meds. When my prescriptions were expired I found some other people who could fill the need of my pain medication habit. I continued to get carried away so much so that I got a job to pay for the habit, but later lost it because of the habit," Sam felt as if she didn't make any sense since she left out the main reason, which started before the accident and escalated after.

Sam turned to her mother who was silent and realized that Jane was wiping tears from under her eyes and trying not to cry.

"Mom don't cry. It wasn't your fault," Sam said.

"But it was my fault. I should know when my daughter is slipping through the cracks. I'm suppose to be there for you," Jane grabbed at tissue with her free hand and blew her nose.

"Mom I didn't want you to see. I cut everyone out of my life," Sam responded trying to stop her mom from crying. She couldn't deal with her mom's emotions.

"So you decided that it would be better if you were dead and completely cut everyone off for good," Jane exclaimed.

Sam knew this was coming but she wasn't ready for this part. She didn't want to tell anyone about the rape yet. She was starting to feel exhausted. She no longer had help with keeping her emotions in check and she wasn't use to dealing with them all at once. She looked her mom in the eye.

"There's more to it but I really tired and not ready to discuss it just yet," Sam told her mother who nodded her head in understanding.

"Ok sweetie, when you're ready I'll be here. Please don't cut me off again I won't let you, because I love you too much," Jane told her. "Go ahead and sleep I'll go talk with the doctors."

**REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS. THIS CHAPTER WAS MORE OF A FILLER I THINK BUT I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME TO WRITE. MY UNI CLASSES HAVE KEPT ME BUSY, ESPECIALLY MY DRAWING CLASS WHERE I HAVE MAJOR PROJECTS EVERY WEEKEND. I HOPE TO GET A GOOD CHAPTER UP SOON.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: *grimaces* So...it's almost been a two years since I updated. There really is no excuse other than life being a pain in my ass and continues to be. I started to write today mainly to not get my work done but also because my friend pissed me off so much and instead of verbally attacking him I attacked this story which I've been avoiding for way too long. So if people out there are still interested in reading, kudos to you. I apologize for storyline and spelling errors.**

Brooke opened the door to the Jitter's establishment and scanned the tables for Becca. She spotted the girl in a corner table far from the door. Becca had also spotted her entrance and smiled in acknowledgement at the blonde. Brooke smiled back and motioned that she was going to get her coffee before heading over to the table since Becca already had hers. Brooke stepped in line thankful that it wasn't too long, but she still had to wait meaning her mind had time to wander. She wasn't quite sure what possessed her to call Becca, in truth she hardly knew the girl. She hardly knew her and yet this girl was the only person who knew that she had feelings for Sam. Did she truly want to talk about this? She wasn't totally sure what she needed to discuss for she wouldn't know where to start, yet she really needed someone to talk to. Harrison was completely out of the question and her other friends were also friends of Sam's. Well they used to be friends. Apparently she really didn't know who Sam's friends were anymore.

"Miss?" There was a gentle tap on her shoulder. She turned around and saw an elder gentleman behind her. She didn't know him and gave him a questioning look.

"It you turn to order." He answered her silent question.

Brooke turned back around and saw that she was three feet in front of the counter and that the barista was giving her an impatient look. A blush spread across her face and she took the few strides to the counter to order her drink.

"I'll have a medium non-fat caramel latte," she quickly spewed out wanting so desperately to hide away from her slight embarrassment.

"$6.25" the barista stated and Brooke handed her a ten.

She got her change back and moved over to the pick-up spot. She put her change back in her purse and a minute later her drink was ready. She snatched from the counter and quickly made her way to Becca's table. She just got seated when Becca spoke.

"So do you zone out a lot?" Becca smiled at her.

Brooke knew that Becca was just trying to keep the mood light and Brooke decided that her moment had come and gone and that no one would remember anyway.

"I don't know. Do you think that is why people are always giving me weird looks?" Brooke decided to play along.

Becca burst out laughing. "Well it's either that or they're just jealous because of your good looks."

Brooke only smiled in response.

They each took a sip of their coffee knowing that they had some more serious things to discuss but were unsure how to start the conversation. Becca decided to break the silence.

"So are you going to tell Sam that you have feelings for her?"

Brooke looked down at her coffee trying to think of a response. "I kind of already did." She mumbled as she took a sip from her drink.

"What?! Wait what do you mean you kind of?" Becca leaned more over the table.

Brooke set the cup on the table but still clasped it in her hands. "Well last night when she was sleeping I told her. I know it doesn't count but how can I tell her now after all that has happened."

Becca reached across the table and took Brooke's hand that had let go of the coffee and was now trying to rub a line into the table top. "Why can't you tell her now?" Becca was sad at seeing such conflicting emotions in the girl

"This really is a bad time to tell her. For one she is emotionally unstable right now. For god sake they have her on suicide watch. If I tell her she may freak out and shut down on me. I don't think I could deal with that. There is also the concern about her being raped which is going to give her more anxiety about everything people say to her or do around her." Brooke had more to say but that last part about the rape made rant lose steam. _Oh my God. She was raped. This rape was what pushed her over the edge. Her I am talking about my own silly problems when she is in the hospital hurting._

"Brooke?" Becca had noticed that Brooke had zoned off again.

"She was raped" Brooke refocused and looked at Becca who was a little confused. "She was raped and overdosed and I'm here drinking coffee talking about my emotional issues. This is fucked up."

Becca squeezed her hand. "Hey, don't go ranking who's issues are more important. That is not a fair thing to do." Becca made sure that Brooke was listening. "Besides, it's a good thing that you talking about things know before we go see her." Brooke gave her a questioning look. Becca drank the rest of her coffee before finishing. "The last thing we need is two emotional time bombs in the room. I for one can hardly deal with one person crying let alone two."

Brooke scoffed, "What makes you think we, or even I, will cry."

Becca stood up from her chair, "I don't that is why I said time bombs, you never know just when they'll go off. Let's go you're driving, I had my mom drop me off on her way to work"

Brooke shook her head and stood up she couldn't believe how this girl could turn everything into some sort of joke. She was jealous of Becca being able to change the mood so effortlessly like she had all these quips stored in her mind for these exact situations.

When Brooke finally made her way outside she saw that Becca was leaning against her car.

"How do you know that's my car you could be leaning on some stranger's car right now."

"Seriously? Have you seen your license plate?"

Brooke looked down at the plate just before completely passing it. BQUEEN1.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that" She then unlocked the car and got in behind the wheel.

* * *

"Jane!" Brooke shouted down the hall when she saw her step-mother at the vending machines.

Jane turned in acknowledgment of her name, when she saw it was Brooke her face broke out in a grin. Brooke approached Jane with Becca trailing behind. When both the girls stopped in front of Jane, Jane realized that the girl next to Brooke came with her but she didn't know this girl.

"And who is this?" Jane smiled first at Becca then at Brooke.

Brooke realized then that Jane and Becca didn't know each other. "Jane this is Becca, Sam's friend. Becca this is Sam's mom." Becca held out her hand for a shake.

As Jane shook Becca's hand she still had a smile but also was a bit confused. "You are a friend of Sam's? Do you go to school together?"

Becca glanced at Brooke to see what she should answer but realized Brooke didn't know what to say either. "Not exactly, she came to the café I worked at, after school each day and did her homework." It wasn't a complete lie but she knew that she shouldn't talk about Sam actually working there because that was not for her to tell. She also didn't want to answer questions that would have come up after telling Sam's mother.

"Ah, so that is where Samantha spent her time," Jane looked relieved to know where her daughter ended up most days.

Brooke finally spoke up. "So can we go see Sam?"

Jane looked at Brooke. "Yes she's been taking a nap but my guess is that she will probably wake up soon she doesn't sleep more than 2 hrs each time." That last part made Jane look worried.

"Jane maybe you should go get stuff done, we will be sticking around for quite awhile," Brooke said, but could see the hesitation in the woman. "Please go take some time for yourself and maybe a decent meal instead of this junk." Brooke gestured towards the vending machine.

Jane signed finally giving in. "Your right. Plus I think Sam is starting to get sick of me hanging around 24/7. I just can't help it. I just wish she would talk to someone. The doctor said she won't talk to the psychologist. Maybe both of you will get somewhere." Jane started to walk towards the exit. She turned back and added quickly. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"Well, let's go see if Sammy is awake shall we," Becca held her arm out waiting for Brooke to link arms with her.

Brooke rolled her eyes but linked her arm with Becca's anyway. "You're such a dork."

Becca grinned at her and replied, "and you my dear are a pushover. I think this is the beginning of a great friendship."

Brooke held back eye rolling this time as she walked next to a skipping girl. _This girl is something else._ Brooke could see that they could be great friends she just hoped that Sam wouldn't think that she was stealing her best friend for that is the last thing she wanted.

The short trip to the room was quite eventful to say the least. Becca started to skip and sing "follow the yellow brick road to which Brooke's response was to try to pull away before dying from embarrassment. She didn't succeed in pulling away because each time she tried Becca held onto her arm tighter and sang louder. By the time they reach the room Brooke's face was bright red and Becca was apologizing to an older nurse who was scolding her and telling her to act her age. The nurse took Becca's apology but once she rounded the corner Becca broke out laughing. Brooke could help but laugh a little also.

* * *

Sam awoke to laughter outside her room she recognized the laughter but couldn't place exactly who it was. She saw the door knob start to move and quickly shut her eyes. She really wasn't in the mood for visitors. She just wanted people to leave her alone, but she knew that wasn't going to happen since she was on suicide watch and nurses kept coming and going every thirty minutes. The door was now fully open and by what she could make out was the sound of two people entering before shutting the door.

The door took a seat but stayed deadly silent. She felt weird and didn't want to play asleep since she wasn't tired at the moment, but she also didn't want to hold a conversation. She decided faking sleeping was the better choice. She thought she was quite convincing till a voice broke through the silence.

"Stop being an asshole, I know your faking it," Becca said not amused.

Sam opened her eyes seeing Becca smirking at her and then she saw Brooke who looked at Becca horrified by the girl's word choice.

"Asshole? Really? Do you say that to everyone lying in a hospital bed?" Sam smirked back.

"Sorry, would you have preferred, bitch?" Becca came back quickly.

Sam just rolled her eyes. "You have such a great bedside manner, ever think of volunteering at the hospital?"

"Nope, the nurses hate me."

Brooke kept silent the whole time watching the back and forth friendly banter.

"So when are they letting you out?" Becca switched to a more serious tone.

"Tomorrow, hopefully."

There was an awkward silence. Sam looked at the bed covering like it was the most fascinating thing ever. Becca noticed that Brooke wasn't going to speak anytime soon and figured a good way to force a conversation was if she left for a bit.

"Well, I'm going to go see if they got any good coffee." She then quickly exited the room before Brooke could mention that they just had coffee.

Sam wasn't prepared to be in the same room alone with Brooke. Brooke was picking at her nails and Sam tried not to stare at her while the girl was not paying attention, but it was hard not to. The last time her and Brooke were in this room her brain was playing tricks on her mind and she thought she heard things that subconsciously she wanted to be true. _Fuck. Becca why did you have to leave._

**A/N2: Leave a review if you feel inclined. Constructive criticism is awesome, I deal with it all the time in my major. I don't know when I'll update, it will depend on my schedule for I have many projects due each week (I love my major but I have no life outside of studio as you can see by how long this took to update). I do have many more ideas for next chapters after writing this and hope to get them written down before they disappear from my mind.  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N1: Well it's up quicker than last time. I'm sorry for those who had to re-read my whole story just to recall what was happening. Thanks for all the reviews and follows they made my stressful day's a little bit brighter. My mush is brain...I mean my brain is mush, so there are most likely errors, my apologizes. Enjoy. :)**

Sam hated awkward silences. _Ugh say something Sam. Move that damn mouth of yours_. "Sorry" she whispered.

Brooke's head snapped up with a shocked expression. "Uh, what?" _Why the hell is she sorry._

"I said I'm sorry," Sam made sure this time she was clear.

"Why are you sorry?" Brooke was now extremely confused.

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this and rush to the hospital yet again because of me." _If only she hadn't made that stupid call to Becca, she wouldn't be having this conversation with Brooke. _

"Well apology, not excepted. There is no need to apologize Sam." Brooke stared at the side of Sam's face. "We were worried about you." Brooke paused before continuing. "I was worried Sam. It was like déjà vu." Brooke's voice finally cracked and a few tears started to spill their way down her face.

Sam heard the crack in the blonde's voice and brought her gaze to face her. Sam really didn't want to see Brooke crying, but she didn't know how to respond. Brooke wiped the wetness from her cheeks and tipped her head to the side before she spoke again. "Why?" her voice pleaded.

Sam looked away, feeling as if she looked Brooke in the eyes the girl would see what she was thinking. Brooke scooted the chair closer when she realize Sam was starting to throw up her defenses. The chair made a horrible scratching sound until it was close enough for Brooke to reach for Sam's hand.

Sam wanted so badly to snatch her hand back but she decided to just leave it limp as Brooke clasped onto it. She still couldn't bring her eyes up to meet the blondes.

"Sammy," there was a long pause. "Sam, where you raped?" the last word was barely a legible whisper, but Sam did hear it.

With her free hand Sam started to pick at a loose string in the hospital blanket. This is the last thing she wanted to talk about. She knew that Brooke was being patient, but she really wasn't sure if she could say it out loud. Her body still ached down there and the bruises on her wrist were her just dark visual reminders at what her mind was trying so hard to forget. As the memory started to seep back into her consciousness, she felt her mind retreat into itself.

Brooke continued to hold onto Sam's hand, but could tell that Sam was starting to retreat farther into herself. The next thing she knew Sam had snatched her hand away from Brooke and had brought her legs to her chest and started to rock back and forth.

"No, no, no" Sam started to mumble and she continued to rock. Brooke tried to put her hand on Sam's arm to calm her down but Sam swatted it away. This time tears were streaming down Sam's cheeks but her eyes continued to stay vacant. Brooke was scared to do anything and stood up almost knocking the chair over. The heart monitor hooked up to Sam was going crazy and that apparently got the attention of the nurses at the nurse station for three of them rushed into the room. Two of them approached Sam while the other one tried to talk to Brooke but she was looking past the nurse to the girl freaking out on the bed. Sam was starting to scratch at her wrist as if she was trying to pry something off. One of the nurses was trying to hold Sam's arms down against the mattress to keep her from hurting herself further while the other one started to put something into Sam's I.V..

After a minute, Brooke noticed that Sam's was starting to calm down and drift off. She then noticed that the nurse was asking her questions.

"What did you say?" looked down at the nurse who was much shorter than her.  
"What happened?"

"Well, uh." She wasn't sure she should tell the nurse about the rape situation but also figured that most the nurses knew anyway. "I believe she was remembering the rape. She kept saying, 'No' over and over."

"Did she mention anything about it specifically?"

"No, I was trying to see if she would talk to me about what had happened, but I don't think she is ready," Brooke looked at Sam's calm form, seeing her like this, she was wondering if the mental breakdown actually happened. The only evidence that it did was the red scratches on her wrist, the nurses where applying bandages to the ones that were starting to bleed.

"Poor girl," the nurse whispered as she faced Sam. She then turned around to look at Brooke. "I don't mean to be rude but what is your relation?"

"She is my step-sister," Brooke replied. It was moments like this where she acknowledge that they were step-sisters and it reminded her how messed up it would seem if she were to tell Sam that she had feelings for her. She could just imagine if her and Sam did have a relationship, how that would affect their half-sister MacKenzie. She shook the thought trail from her mind the last thing she needed right now was to psych herself out.

"Okay you can stay then. I was going to ask you to leave if you were a friend because after what happened, I have a feeling that they are going to limit her visitors." The nurse smiled at her and gently gripped her arm, knowingly. "She will be fine, sweetie. It is quite common for victims to do this. It had nothing to do with you. It was bound to happen sooner or later." The nurse then left the room, passing Becca on the way out.

Becca walk up to Brooke with two water bottles. "What happened?" Becca had notice the three nurses leaving and that Sam was lying asleep with bandages on her wrists.

"I…" Brooke was unsure whether to start crying or answer Becca's question. Crying is what ended happening as the shock was starting to wear off and she started to feel all the emotions of what she had just witnessed. The repetitive 'no' that Sam was repeating was echoing in her head along with snap shots of Sam clawing at, what she could only guess as, invisible hands on her wrists.

Becca was trying to coax her into sitting down, which Brooke did without even realizing it. Becca was rubbing soothing circles on her back waiting for the Blonde to pull herself together enough to respond. After about 5minutes Brooke had finally calmed down enough to answer Becca's question.

"I asked her if she was raped?" Brooke took a deep breath before continuing. "She didn't answer me but started to rock back and forth mumbling 'no'. I tried to stop her but she started to get more violent. The monitors alarmed the nurses." Brooke looked at Becca. "She started to scratch at herself as if someone was holding her down." More tears started to break free but she quickly wiped at them before they could make their decent. "I don't know what to do?"

"The only thing you can do is be there for her, let her know that you will listen when she's ready to talk." Becca responded. "I'll stay here till Jane comes back, but then I should probably leave. It sounds like they don't want her to have visitors other than immediate family."

"In all honesty you probably are just as much family as any of us, considering that she actually let you in and pushed us all out"

"Okay, okay. If you wanted me to stay you could have just said so." Becca said with a hint of a smile.

Brooke couldn't help but smile back.

Becca held out a bottle of water. "You should probably rehydrate you lost a lot of fluids with the tears."

"Thanks" Brooke knew her voice even sounded hoarse from crying and was definitely in the need of water.

"So they sedated her then?" Becca gestured towards the brunette in the bed.

"Yeah, it was the only way they could settle her down and keep her from hurting herself." Brooke drank a sip of water. After a moment Brooke's eyes darkened with anger.

"I'm going to kill him," the harsh whisper echoed off the off-white walls of the hospital room.

Becca grabbed a hold of Brooke's hand in hopes that it would calm the blonde down. Instead the Blonde turned her attention from Sam to Becca.

"Who is this guy? You said Stacy knows him?"

"It is Stacy's brother Jack. What I don't understand is that Sam usually deals with Stacy or Trevor, Stacy's boyfriend. I wasn't even aware that she knew Jack. My guess she didn't want Stacy to find out because then it would get around to me. Jack and his sister don't get along. Jack is the only the supplier not the dealer." Becca was trying to figure out Sam's reasoning to go to Jack.

"Why would she go to him though," Brooke was realized that Becca just made more questions with her answer.

"My guess is she heard that Jack would spot people drugs if they didn't have the money upfront. The problem is that this must have been her second time asking because he decided to cash in on her payment in the form of sex."

"Wait, are you saying that she wasn't raped?" Brooke's voice was started to rise and anger saw shining in her eyes.

"No, I'm not saying that. She was definitely raped especially after how you told me she reacted earlier. My guess is that she agreed because she really needed a fix but once she said yes, she changed her mind. He of course still takes what he wants even if she said no, I'm going to assume he got her high so in his mind it doesn't matter what she says beyond agreeing to begin with."

"No is no, it doesn't matter if she was high and agreed, to begin with, she changed her mind. Has he done this before?"

"Yes, but some girls don't say no and the ones who do come to the realization that they would rather have the drugs then report the rape. If they do threaten him he just tells them no one will believe a junkie over him."

"Well when I get done with him he won't even be a man." Brooke's eyes were practically glowing with anger.

"Brooke, stop for a second," Becca squeezed Brooke's hand. "You should do nothing. Remember Sam needs to report it."

"I know, but it hurts to know that he is out there while Sam's in here suffering," Brooke let some of the anger dissipate.

After a few minutes of awkward silence, Becca spoke.

"So where is this MacKenzie, I've heard so much about?"

Brooke final broke out in a genuine smile. "She's with the sitter. I believe my father is going to pick her up after work," Brooke smile got bigger. "She has a lot of the same features as Sam. She probably will turn out to be a mini Sam."

"I doubt it. She will probably look like a mini Sam but I bet she will be a mini you personality wise." Becca nudged Brookes shoulder.

"Well I hope she isn't a mini me," Brooke winced.

Becca was confused, "Why?"

"I have many of my own demons and I don't want to see her having to deal with those types of demons." Brooke saw that Becca was still unconvinced so she decided to explain. "I've struggled with body issues for a good portion of my life. I was bulimic. I still struggle with it body issues every day. I really hope she has the self confidence that Sam has. Honestly it might be better if she is a Jane, a peacekeeper, because the last thing we need in the house is another alpha bitch. The two of us are already a handful for Jane and my Dad."

"Well I'm sure whatever person she is the most like it will be all the great qualities and if not she has great sisters to help her through everything." Becca chuckled, "and besides if she is an alpha bitch by that time I would hope you've moved out of the house, or do you plan on living with you parents for the majority of your adult life?"

"God I hope not," Brooke winced. "As much as I love Jane and my dad, I don't think I can deal with them being all up in my business, it already difficult since I turned 18, because to then I'm still a kid."

"Truthfully, they will be all in your business even if you move out. It's how you know that they care. My mom can't wait to kick me out but I know that for a fact she will call me 3 times a day or more. She already calls me 3 times a day to chat about the most random stuff, and I still live at home." Becca laughed.  
Brooke smiled at that. She turned to look at Sam who now looked peaceful as she rested. Brooke reached over and took Sam's hand already deciding she was going to stay till Sam awoke.

**A/N2: So I thought I would have more time to write this semester, but I was so very wrong. This is a hell of a semester, with project after project anytime I have to write I'm mentally too drained to write. I will continue to write but it will probably happen when I'm procrastinating, like now I should be studying for an electrical/lighting exam. Well until next time.**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N 1: Spring Break means I have a little more time to write, but I still have a lot of other papers to catch up on so maybe I'll get another chapter out soon.**

**A/N 2: I want to thank all of you who review because it keeps me thinking about updating the story.**

**I hope you enjoy! All mistakes are mine.**

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Becca and Brooke had been chatting for a few hours. Brooke was telling Becca about all the high school drama that Sam and Brooke started after finding out that their parents were getting married. Brooke realized now how ridiculous most of their fighting really was.

"Oh how I wish I could have witnessed these events." Becca chuckled to herself. "My school drama ends up with someone getting the cops called on them. Fights at my school turn into fist fights and are more scary than entertaining."

"Well there was a food fight once, but honestly it ended up being fun, well until we had to clean it up," Brooke smiled as she thought back to that day.

"I think all food fights no matter why they started in the first place, end up being turned into something fun." Becca smiled back.

Sam still was out cold after her freak out, and Brooke had no intention of leaving until she talked to Sam and made sure she was going to be alright. As their conversation came to a lull there was a knock on the door before it opened and Jane walked in.

The girls turned and smiled at her. Jane smiled back but the smile faltered when she saw that Sam was not awake.

"Did something happen?" Jane whispered not wanting to wake the slumbering brunette.

"I think she had a flashback of some sort. She was hurting herself so the nurses gave her something to calm down and it caused her to fall asleep." Brooke responded. She left out the part of the flashback being the rape. It wasn't her part to tell Jane it was for Sam to tell not her.

Jane approached her daughter's bed, worried.

Becca saw this as her time to leave seeing that there were only two chairs and Brooke wouldn't be alone now, plus her mother would be expecting her home soon. She got up from her chair.

"Mrs. McQueen, please sit." Becca pushed the chair over to the woman. "I need to get going anyway, my mother is expecting me home to help make dinner." Becca turned to Brooke who was also now standing. "If you need someone to talk to my phone is always on, okay." Becca opened her arms up and approached the blonde for a hug. Brooke nodded her head and returned the hug.

When they pulled apart Becca waved to Jane and Brooke before heading out of the room. "Tell Sam I'll see her tomorrow and that I'm sorry that I couldn't stick around."

When Becca left the room Jane took a seat and Brooke also sat back down.

"How long has she been out?" Jane spoke softly.

"A few hours, but the nurse said she could wake up anytime now," Brooke smiled softly.

"That's good. She looks so peaceful." Jane looked down at her sleeping daughter and without looking up she added, "Did she speak to you at all about what happened?"

Brooke knew quite a bit but Sam didn't share anything with her so she answered Jane's question as truthfully as she could. "No she didn't. We didn't talk too much before they had to sedate her."

Before Jane could respond Sam started to stir.

"Sam, honey?" Jane said softly.

Sam slowly awoke, her eyes trying to focus with the bright lights of the room. She clamped them shut.

"Who brought the fucking sun into my room?" Sam voice rasped thick with sleep.

"Samantha! Language!" Jane gasped and swatted the girls arm. Brooke tried to hold back laugh.

Sam opened one eye and looked to were her mom sat. "It was the drugs talking." She offered as an answer.

"Sure it was." Jane couldn't help but smile.

Sam finally opened up her other eye and looked over at Brooke who had been sitting quietly during the mother and daughter exchange.

"Sorry, Brooke," Sam spoke directly to Brooke.

"For what?" Brooke was confused as to why Sam kept apologizing to her.

"I'm sorry I freaked out earlier when you were talking to me," Sam explained, slightly embarrassed about the whole thing._ She probably thinks I'm crazy now._

Brooke shook her head. "You really need to stop apologizing. You do not need to apologize for any of this. I was worried, Sam. I'm the one who should apologize for pushing the conversation the way it did. I just want you to know that I'm here when you are ready to talk." Brooke placed her hand on top of Sam's as a form of comfort and support.

"The same goes for me Sam, if you want to talk, I'm here also." Jane spoke up. She had some unshed tears in her eyes touched by Brooke support and understanding. She realized then that Sam and Brooke's rivalry relationship was on its way to amends and that maybe they wouldn't always be at each other's throat.

There was a small comfortable silence before Jane broke the silence. "What clothes do you want me to bring you tomorrow for when we bring you home?"

"I honestly don't care, as long as it's comfortable."

"Okay, but whatever I pick you can't get upset, since you weren't being specific." Jane jokingly warned.

Sam glanced around and then frowned. "Did Becca leave?"

"Yeah she left not too long ago, you've been out for awhile. She told me to tell you that she would see you tomorrow," Brooke answered her seeing the frown leave Sam's face.

"You should go get some food and rest Brooke. You've been here all day," Jane spoke up when she realized how long Brooke had been in this room.

"I'm fine, Jane." Brooke insisted.

"Brooke you should go, you get the bathroom all to yourself for one more day might as well enjoy it." Sam joked. She didn't want to see Brooke go but she could tell the girl was tired and she didn't want the blonde's exhaustion to be her fault.

"Good point," Brooke smirked. She didn't want to leave either but she knew that with both women wanting her to go she didn't stand a chance of arguing. "I'll see you tomorrow." She waved goodbye and walked from the room.

Right after Brooke left a nurse walked in to check on her.

"Do you think you could keep something down? Like pudding perhaps?" The nurse wrote a few things down in the chart.

"I could try, but I'm not very hungry. My stomach is still a little iffy." Sam placed her hand on her stomach.

"Honey, you should at least try" Jane spoke up.

"Fine, I'll try."

"Would you like chocolate or vanilla?" the nurse asked, waiting by the door.

"Vanilla, sounds good," Sam responded. _Sounds good? Ugh, I'm pretty sure I'm just going to throw it up._

The nurse went to go get the pudding, leaving the mother and daughter alone.

"You should also go. I'm pretty tired even though apparently I slept all afternoon. I'm afraid my company would be lacking." Sam looked to her mom. _Please agree. Please._

"Okay Sam, but I'll be back right away in the morning to come and get you. Make sure you eat and rest." Jane stood up and leaned down to kiss her daughter on the forehead. "Love you"

Sam smiled.

Jane left the room, leaving Sam alone with her thoughts.

_Why does Brooke have to be so understanding about all this. I would rather have her yelling at me and chastising me for putting everyone through my shit. I probably deserve to be yelled at truthfully but it wouldn't change how crappy I feel. _Sam ran her fingers through her hair._ Yuck, grease city I need a shower badly. Oh God I haven't showered._ Sam started to hyperventilate, realizing that she still had him on her. There was a bed pan on the table next to her bed and she quickly grabbed it as she felt her stomach turn.

She started to wretch, but not much was coming out. She hadn't had much of anything except for the fluids that they kept pumping into her. Her body was in panic mode again and she could stop herself from dry heaving. She was glad that both her mother and Brooke had left because she would have been completely embarrassed if they had to witness this. She hated pity and she knew that they would be feeling sorry for her. As if the situation wasn't already bad, the nurse had come back with her pudding and upon see the girl sick , rushed to her bed side.

"Just breath," the nurse coach trying to get the girl to call down.

After about 5 more minutes of dry heaving, Sam was finally able to calm down enough.

"I don't think you are ready for food just yet. I'm going to go fetch you some ice chips and some more fluids for your I.V. Just keep taking deep breaths." The nurse quickly left.

_Breath Sam, just breath. _She kept the mantra going in her head till the nurse returned with the ice chips. The nurse set them next to Sam.

"Do you know what caused the heaving?" the nurse replaced her i.v. bag with a new one.

Sam stayed quiet. She wasn't sure how much she wanted to share. The last thing she wanted to do was get her head shrinked by a psychologist. The nurse was waiting for an answer, so she shook her head no, hoping that the nurse wouldn't push it.

"Well, we can try getting some food in you before you leave tomorrow but for tonight stick to the ice chips and get some more rest." The nurse grabbed the pudding before leaving.

Sam knew there was no way she would be sleeping anytime soon so she clicked on the tv. Each time a nurse came in she would pretend to be asleep, so that they wouldn't feel the need to suggest she stay another night. Around 4 in the morning her eye were starting to become sore to keep open so she decided to rest them for a bit.

Darkness and silence engulfed her as her body relaxed into a dream state. Sam felt as if she was walking through mud. Everything was spinning around her as if she just consumed too much alcohol and mind numbing drugs. A couch appeared next to her so she sat down hoping that sitting would help with the spinning and that it would help clear her vision. She closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them she realized she was trapped underneath something heavy. She was on her back but couldn't move. That is when she heard his voice and felt his breath on her neck. Panic started to overwhelm her senses and she tried to get free but the weight morphed into his body and it was not moving. She punched and clawed but it was as if her hands moved right through him and he smiled down at her seeming to enjoy her struggle.

She tried to scream but nothing came out. It was like someone hit the mute button on her voice. More panic and now she was full out panicking and started to thrash to get free. There was movement out of the corner of her eye and she turned to look. It was Brooke. Sam tried to yell help but nothing. Sam realized then that Brooke wasn't going to help her. Brooke was looking at her in utter disgust. Brooke was disgusted with her, disgusted in her life choices. Brooke started to fade away leaving Sam trapped, with her monsters. Sam felt as if she was suffocating and she was having a hard time breathing.

_Wake up Sam! Wake yourself up now!_ Sam struggled to wake up but she finally did and she bolted up in her hospital bed trying to catch her breath. Her body and mind were still exhausted but she was not going to fall asleep anytime soon. She laid back against the thin mattress. She needed something to help with the nightmares and the only thing that came to mind was what put her in the hospital in the first place. It was going to be hard to get now that her family would be keeping a close eye on her but she knew that is she wanted to sleep she would need something to do so.

She remembered Brooke's face in her dream. _Brooke is only going to see me as drug/alcoholic who let herself get raped for drugs. I bet Becca told her about the deals that Jack makes for drugs. Fuck I need to get out of here._

As if her thoughts were heard, a nurse walked in.

"Good morning, ready to leave today?" the nurse smile checking her vitals.

"Hell yes. What time is it exactly? That stupid clock on the wall hasn't moved since I got here."

"It's 7 am" the nurse responded. "I'll be back in with some pudding. The nurse last night told me that you were sick and that you should try eating this morning before you leave." The nurse then left to go fetch the food.

_Well, fuck. That nightmare was 3 hrs long? I need to get out of here._

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**Please review let me know your thoughts. I know many people read this but I want to know what you think. :)**_  
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	18. Chapter 18

**A/N 1: So my break is over, it was technically over yesterday, but we got a blizzard out here and class was cancelled. Second, snow day this year. I'm not good with snow day's because I feel trapped, so I did some work I didn't get to and wrote this chapter. Oh...I also dug out my car. Why oh why did I chose to go to school here. Good news for you because you got a new chapter. Thanks to all the people who have reviewed the last few chapters. Your reviews are what have kept me wanting to keep up the updates.**

**All errors are mine. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

**Enjoy!**

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Brooke arrived home from the hospital utterly exhausted. She dropped her bag on the kitchen counter and walked over to the refrigerator. She looked through its contents not finding anything that looked remarkable good to eat. As she was moving things around, she spotted a container of hummus. She grabbed the container and bottle of water, setting them on the counter and went in search for something to eat with the hummus. The cupboards were quite bear, in need of being restocked.

"We really need to go shopping," Brooke muttered to herself.

She found a box of wheat thins behind the cheerios and grabbed it before collecting the rest of her meal. Not wanting to sit at the counter she took her food into the tv room and plopped down onto the couch. She turned the television on looking for distraction, because whenever she was left with her thoughts all she could think about was Sam, Sam's freak out that is. That was the last thing she wanted to think about. She stopped her channel surfing on a channel playing a marathon of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Brooke munched on her food and watched the show.

"Buffy and Faith, most definitely have a thing going on," Brooke spoke to herself and the television.

After fifteen minutes her eyes started to droop and she drifted off to sleep with the show continuing in the background. Brooke was standing in an empty hallway, which was quite dark except for a light that shined from under the door at the end of the hallway. She could hear muffled voices and then someone yelled for help. On instinct Brooke started for the door but the hallway seemed to get longer and she was nowhere near reaching the door. The person continued to cry out for help and she tried to run but her body wasn't responding.

She was starting to become frustrated at the speed she was going and continued to force herself to speed up. She finally reached out her arm in hopes that it would propel her towards the door. The next time she blinked she was at the door and the voices on the other side were louder than before. Just as she was reaching for the door knob the door opened up on its own and she stepped in. Not sure what she was expecting to find, but it was definitely not this. It was Sam being attacked she could see Sam's face but only the back of the figure attacking her.

Sam was pleading for him to stop as tears escaped her eyes. Brooke tried to move towards the brunette but her feet wouldn't budge. She looked at Sam with scared eyes. _No this is not fair, I'm here I can save her._ Brooke thrashed around screaming in rage she needed to move but still was unable to. Brooke realized now that the man was gone and now it was her watching Sam consuming her pills and alcohol. Brooke couldn't stop her and started to cry and scream. _NO! Please Sam, don't do this. No no no._

Brooke bolted up from the couch her breathing erratic. _Just a dream. Only a dream._ It was only a dream yet it was also what happened and in both cases she couldn't stop either thing from helping. She realized the room was dark and someone had put a blanket on her at some point. Brooke swung her legs off the sofa and tried to calm her breathing some more. She was unsure of the time but knew that she wouldn't be falling asleep anytime soon.

She pulled the blanket from her body before standing up. Her limbs were sore, which she could only guess had to do with her thrashing during her dream and sleeping on the couch. She stretched and made her way out to the kitchen to get some water. As she drank a whole glass of water, she glanced at the time on the microwave, it read 6:45. She assumed that it was the morning since she got home later than that last night.

"Oh!" A voice spoke from behind Brooke, startling her. Brooke turned towards the voice. "Brooke, you startled me, and it looks like I startled you. Sorry. I wasn't expecting anyone to be up."

"It's okay Jane. I just woke up." Brooke set her glass into the sink.

"Well I'm going to make some coffee and eat before I shower." Jane started for the coffee maker. "Did you want some coffee? Or food?"

"I'll take some coffee, but after I shower." Brooke responded and started for the stairs, but stopped to ask one question before hand. "What time are you going to go pick up Sam?"

"I plan on picking her up right at 8? Did you want to come with me?"  
"I would, but I should probably go to school today," Brooke said sadly.

"Okay, well I won't be there that long anyway."  
Brooke started to ascend the stairs but Jane stopped her.

"Oh, Brooke, do you think you could pick out some clothes I could bring Sam?"

"Sure, I'll do that after my shower." Brooke finished walking up the stairs and headed through the bathroom door.

She emerged 20 minutes later, refreshed. She quickly got changed before heading for Sam's bed room. When she entered she felt as if she shouldn't be in there. Yes, she's been in here many times but only when Sam's also been in the room. She felt as if she was snooping in Sam's belonging. She made her way over to the closet and pulled open the doors. She tried to think what Sam would want to wear knowing that Sam didn't wear half the things in her wardrobe anymore, because of the scars. The scars, that were meant for her, not Sam. She ended up grabbing a pair of black sweatpants and a grey long sleeve shirt. She figured that Sam would want something comfortable to wear.

She was ready to walk out of the room when she realized that Sam would also need underwear, a bra and some socks. _As if I don't feel nosey enough._ She walked over to the dresser that was against the far wall. She opened the first draw which was the sock and pajama drawer. She grabbed a pair of ankle socks, before closing the drawer and opening the one below. There she found the underwear and bras. She hesitated unsure of which she should grab, realizing that if Sam complained about the choice that Jane would tell her that Brooke picked them out and that made Brooke anxious. _Stop being silly and just pick something already._ Brooke decided to go the safe route with boy shorts and a black cotton bra. As she closed the drawer, she tried to get rid of the image of all the surprisingly sexy lingerie that Sam own. It was something she would have never guessed, and now it was something that she was having a hard time repressing.

She quickly left the room and went down the stairs, clothes in hand. Jane wasn't there so Brooke assumed that she was in the shower. She set the clothes on the counter and left a note for Jane to tell her she was leaving and that she would be back right after school.

The rest of the day Brooke had a hard time concentrating. She wished that she was back home with Sam, but since she wasn't, she decided to help by making sure that Sam got everything she would need to catch back up. Surprisingly, it seemed that Sam's grades had not suffered and she was only behind by very little. She still had hours to go before she could head home, and staring at the clock wasn't doing her any favors.

Sam choked down a few spoonfuls of the pudding. She almost puked it back up but forced herself to keep it down. The last thing she wanted was them to have an excuse for her to stay another night in the hospital. The nurses were unhooking her from the machines and the fluids so that when her mom came she would be ready to go. The doctor came by also to do a quick check before she was discharged. It was an hour since she woke up from her nightmare and she was even more exhausted after having so much happen in a short amount of time so she relaxed and watched some morning news.

"Good Morning, Samantha." Her mom walked in with a smile on her face.

Sam returned it with a stiffer one, but she was definitely happy to see her mom because now she could leave. Jane set a bag at the foot of the bed. Sam slowly made her way out of the bed and when Jane tried to help her, Sam shooed her away. Realizing that Sam wouldn't want her help Jane decided to take a seat.

"Brooke picked out the clothes in the bag this morning, hopefully they are okay." Jane spoke as Sam emptied the bag onto the bed. She was happy to find sweats and a long-sleeve shirt. Her face got really red, when she saw her undergarments and realized that Brooke picked them out. _Brooke picked out boyshorts and a cotton bra. She went through my lingerie drawer. Oh my God! Brooke went through my lingerie drawer. If I went through her drawer I would probably have a heart attack, but that is me and it's because I like her. For her she probably didn't even think about it and just grabbed practical undergarments._ Sam realized that she had not moved from the spot, frozen with the clothes in her hands.

"Sam, is everything fine? Did I forget something?" Jane stood up and approached her.

"No everything is fine." Sam shook her head and walked away from her mom to the bathroom.

Sam changed quickly and exited the bathroom.

"Let's get out of here." Sam went to the side of the bed where the belongings she had been wearing when they brought her in and grabbed the shoes. She sat in the other chair and put her shoes on.

"Samantha, slow down." Jane spoke and stood up from her chair. She walked over to the bag of dirty clothes picking it up knowing that Sam probably would just leave it there.

"Well, I've been lying in a bed for too long. The last thing I want to do is go slow." Sam stood up and headed for the door.

Jane trailed behind her. Sam forced herself not to run from the hospital, even though that was exactly what she wanted to do. Sam stopped at the nurse's station knowing that her mom needed to sign her out. Sam tapped her foot as her mom signed and dated a few forms. When her mom was finished she realized she really didn't know which way to go to get out, so she let her mom take the lead this time. _Jeez, Sam you wanted to run and you didn't even know where the exit was or were your mom parked the car._ Jane was definitely not going as fast as she wanted to be moving. She just wanted to get that shower, burn her clothes, and hopefully find something that would help her sleep.

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**A/N 2: Sam may end up relapsing, but the question is will she get away with it? Please leave a review, they make my day. :) **

**A/N 3: I hope to get another chapter up soon, but this week is going to be hell and I'm sure the next will also be just as horrible. I've been shocking myself at how much I've been able to update recently.**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Nothing much to say other than life sucks and is completely unpredictable. I realized its been like a month since an update and it doesn't feel as if its been that long. It's 2:30 am right now so I'm sure there are typos. Other than that enjoy!**

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Sam entered the house and quickly made her way to the stairs, but before she could ascend them her mother's voice gave her pause. "Sweetie, did you want me to fix you something to eat?

"No. I just want to take a shower and sleep." She walked up the steps to the bathroom.

Once inside she turned the water on and started to strip out of my clothes. Sam avoided the mirror and any other reflection of herself at all costs. The steam started to billow out the top of the shower and she stepped in under the spray of hot water. She set about washing her hair before attempting to wash the rest of her body. After getting her hair wet she stepped back from the water and lathered her hair in shampoo before stepping back under the water to rinse it away she repeated this process with the conditioner. Once she was satisfied with her hair being clean she grabbed the bar of soap and started on her body.

The longer she scrubbed her body with the bar of soap the more rough she got. Her skin started turn red from the scrubbing and the heat of the water. No matter how many times she washed an area of her skin the feeling of disgust was still clinging to it. The bar slipped from her grasp and she watched as it hit the tiles and dropped down to the floor. If floated on the water before stopping over the drain. Sam didn't bother picking it up for she knew that soap wasn't helping in the slightest. She knew she was physically clean but mentally she was nowhere close.

Her gaze traveled from the drain to her feet and up her legs where it paused. She realized how hairy her legs were and without much thought she reached for her razor. She started with the left leg and moved to her right. She was just about done, when she felt a small bit of pain. The razor had made a small nick on her thigh. She watched as the tiny drop of blood mixed with the water and traveled down her leg off the side of her foot and disappeared into the drain.

_It would be so easy to end it right now. Just take this razor and slice deeper._ _Well except for the fact that there is no guarantee that it would work and that my mother wouldn't check on me before death could take hold. Plus, I really don't want to be found in the shower naked. That is my worst nightmare. It's probably many people's worst nightmare, being found unconscious in their shower by parents or family members. Does pain really go away after death or do people end up in a place where their pain follows them? _

Sam was still holding the razor contemplating, when a knock on the door jolted her from her thoughts. She jumped back out of the water's path, for it was like ice on her skin. She must have been under the water for quite awhile considering that she used up all the hot water and someone was knocking on the door.

"Sam?!" The voice on the other side of the door sounded almost frantic and it tried to turn the knob.

Sam quickly set down the razor on the shelf and turned the water off before vacating the shower. She pulled her designated towel of the towel rack and wrapped herself up.

"Samantha? Answer me!" Jane sounded like she was about to break the door down.

Quickening her movements Sam walked over to the door with one hand holding up the towel she used the other to unlock and open the door. Jane breathed a sigh of relief as Sam came into view.

"You've been in here for over an hour" Jane stated. "I was….I was worried you had tried something." Jane whispered the last part, slightly embarrassed that she had thought the worst of Sam.

"Sorry I kind of zoned out in the shower." Sam confessed for it wasn't a complete lie.

"It's okay, Sam." Jane contemplated how exactly she was going to say the next part. "Don't…don't think I do not trust you, but I would like if you would keep the door unlocked."

Sam started to get angry, she knew why her mother asked this of her but it was still bothersome. "What is going to keep you, or anyone else, barging in the next time I zone out in the shower?"

"It will just be for awhile, Sam. I promise that I will knock and if you answer me within 1 minute I won't barge in."

"Fine," Sam was still not happy but she could deal with it.

Jane stayed where she was, blocking Sam's path out of the bathroom. "So are you hungry now?"

"Um no" Sam had created a puddle on the floor and she was starting to shiver. "Could I please go change?"  
"Of course let me know if you change your mind." Jane stepped to the side and Sam made her way to her room. "No locking the door." Jane added just as Sam started to shut her bedroom door. She ended up slamming it causing the wall to vibrate.

Sam picked out a pair of dark sweats and a light grey long-sleeve and threw them on before dropping down on her made bed. Her bed felt like heaven compared to the stiff thin hospital bed. Even though she was afraid of sleep, exhaustion took hold and she drifted off in the middle of her bed.

Brooke rushed home after school, wanting to check on Sam and see how she was doing. She entered the kitchen and saw Jane at the counter doing some paper work. Jane looked up and smiled at Brooke presence.

"Hi, Brooke. Did you want a snack?" Jane started move off the stool, anticipating having to get a snack made for her."

Brooke shook her head, "No, Jane sit back down I'm not that hungry."

Jane sat back down on her seat. She watched as Brooke nervously picked at her nails looking as though she was trying to decide what to do. Jane guessed that Brooke was wondering about Sam but didn't want to seem like she was.

"She's in her room. I checked on her an hour ago and she was conked out." Jane spoke up and when she saw a frown appear on Brooke's face she decided to add something, that would lighten Brooke's mood. "Maybe you could check on her and see if she feels like having something to eat."

Brooke let a small smile grace her face before heading for the stairs. It took a lot for her not to run up the stairs and burst into Sam's room. She lightly knocked on the door. There wasn't a response and Brooke wasn't sure if she should try again or just open the door. She didn't want to just open the door because that would be overstepping. She chose instead to knock again but before her knuckles made contact with the hard surface she heard a whimper. Her fist froze in its place and her head turned to the side allowing her ear to get closer to the door. She heard a faint "No" and then crying from the other side of the door. She figured that maybe that Sam had heard her knock and didn't want anyone bothering her. She was about to walk away but paused when she heard thrashing of sheets and the word "no" repeated with such a frightening voice.

Brooke didn't bother to knock she opened the door and entered the dark room. The blackout curtains were doing their job and not allowing daylight to penetrate into the room. The only light was the glow of the alarm clock on the nightstand to the right of Sam's bed. The blue glow made the scene in front of her all the more disturbing. Sam was struggling like something was holding her down and the glow of the clock was sending shadows up onto the wall. She realized that Sam was reliving her nightmare in a dream state where she most likely felt more helpless. Brooke unfroze from her spot in just beyond the threshold of the bedroom door and approached the bed quietly not wanting to scare Sam if she were to wake up and see a silhouette of a person coming towards her.

Brooke sat on the edge of the bed and gently shook Sam's shoulder. "Sam, wake up. Sam"

Sam flew up into a sitting position and then scurried backwards till her back hit her headboard. Sam was shaking and trying to catch her breath. Brooke held her up her hands in front of her as a sign of keeping her distance till Sam caught up to reality.

"Sam you're safe. You were having a nightmare." Brooke dropped her hands into her lap. "You are safe."

Sam's eyes came into focus and locked onto the blonde's. Brooke shivered at the deadness that she saw there. Sam was still shaking as she spoke.

"Nightmare?" Sam's voice was a harsh whisper. "It's not something that goes away when I wake up, Brooke. It is reality. It is my reality. I relive it every time I close my eyes. I'm living in my own personal hell. Do you know why I started taking drugs in the first place?"

Brooke shook her head. She had her assumptions but wasn't positive about any of them.

"It started because of memories and feeling of prom night. I kept telling myself that it was because I was still in physical pain and that the doctor's were not understanding the pain I was still feeling, so I supplemented with drugs from these people I meet at physical therapy." Sam looked down at her hands. "They kept my memories and self loathing feelings at bay. The other night happened and no matter how much I took, the images kept flashing in my mind. I lost all control, the drugs were not helping me gain that control back." Sam looked back up at Brooke. "You have no idea how much I really want those drugs right now. The only thing stopping me from taking more pills is the fact that I'm broke and all my hiding spots are empty; that, and the fact that it would crush my mom to put her through this situation again. I feel like I'm hurting her every time she looks at me since waking up in the hospital. It would have been better if I had died because I wouldn't be a reminder of how screwed up of a daughter she had. Yeah she would be upset that I died but over time she would have come to terms and moved on from it. Now I feel as if I can only continue to hurt her. I hurt everyone who dares to care for me. "

Brooke was speechless. She wasn't sure what to say. She was going to speak but Sam spoke up before she could.

"How is Harrison?" Sam didn't really care but she figured that a change in subject was needed and talking about Harrison reminded her that Brooke was taken and didn't feel the same way about her.

"Huh?" Brooke was confused as to why Sam would be asking about Harrison. She was wondering if what Sam had said earlier had actually been said or was a figment of her imagination, because Sam was looking at her questioning face with her own confused face.

"I asked how Harrison is doing?" Sam clarified for the blonde.

"I would guess okay, but I don't really know." Brooke frowned realizing that after her break up with Harrison she didn't really think much about him and didn't see him at school today, not that she was paying much attention.

"Well, don't let worrying about me turn you into a sucky girlfriend," Sam tried to lighten the mood and deflect from the negative that had been hanging in the air.

Brooke winced. "Well, I was a 'sucky' girlfriend and I broke up with him."

"What?!" Sam's mind whirled. This wasn't supposed to happen. Brooke was supposed to be in a happy relationship with Harrison because she took the hit and saved Brooke's life. That night and this most recent time she should have died yet here she was fate laughing in her face. It was like punishment. It was dangling Brooke's new found single status in her face and reminding her that she was a complete mess that hurt everyone that dared to love her.

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**A/N 2: Leave a review. They make my day and encourage me to keep going. Reviews or even a simple comment let me know people are still interested in this story.**


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